I am about to hang myself.....by the phone cord. He is driving me up a wall. He is a horrible man.<P>Called and talked to daughter tonight. Wanted to know why he got a letter in the mail concerning an emergency visit made by us last month. Asked her if she was afraid to tell him what happened.<P>For those of you that know whay happened (the foot stomping)....how can he ask her that? Did he forget what he did to her.<P><BR>Sunday he was suppose to come get his personal belongings. I left the house at 12:45 and came home at 3:30. He never came. He couldn't find a police man to come with him. He called 4 times...asking our 10 year old and my mother if he could come without one. This is the same man that specifically put it in the paperwork (divorce decree) that I have to allow him and a sheriff into the home and that the sheriff must be present.<P>If you guys recall......<P>I'll finish later

It is still about power and control to him, don't you see? <P>It is going to take time for all of this to settle down, but I promise, it will. Be cooperative when at all possible. No, he is not your friend, but it will save you grief down the line.<P>TnT

Hang in there.... I read your posts and think: What is it with this man!!!!<P><BR>But I am living this too....My H is just as off the wall, particularly with the memory thing....he is just not as mean....He was in the beginning, but thanks to his therapy he has not been that mean, except when discussing the relationhip. Then he'll say something like "yeah, we had about 2 good times".....<P>Being "separated" from my H via plan B has helped me tremedously. He is seeing the kids a lot....He even now has one of them spend the night during the work week..... He doesn't want to be alone....<P>I have such a hard time with the "change". I am having a hard time remembering how wonderful I thought he was....He is the polar opposite of himself....<P>Anyway, Hang in there.....be nice...detach and let him be an a## (hope you don't mind that).... It is on him anyway....not you or the girls....<P>I guess we must try to remind ourselves that people do things out of ignorance..... (that's all of us...not just the betrayers)

Hey mental,<P>just you hang on.....<BR>Don't let him do this to you.<P>Could you organise the policeman to be at your home at a designated time?<P>I posted the receipe for the bath bombs (that I was supposed to post about 2 months ago!!) could you make some, and have some nice relaxation time for YOU.<BR>They're wonderful to share with the children too, we 3 quite often all get in. Makes it a 'bit' squashy, and I don't stay in very long, but we all love it. Makes for happy times, and beautiful memories.<BR>My baby (2 yo) first gave me a 'massage' in the bath when we had a bath bomb. Her little massage (and boy was it little - glad I didn't pay for it!!) was just magical. Made me laugh too, she thought she was doing such a great job, and when I asked for another one she said "no Mummy, just one"<BR>Maybe I say that to her too often!!!!!<P>keep your chin up, you're doing great. Don't let him jerk your chain, just keep doing what you're doing. He's trying to get a reaction from you, so he can point the finger again. Don't give him that power. I know it must be hard, but you are so so so much better than him.<P>hugs to you, and prayers too<P>Jo

Mental:<P>It seems like there is never enough for your H. Where is all that venom coming from? He's got his divorce, why can't he let you alone. <P>I've seen many divorces and by the time the final hearing comes around the marriage is a dead horse that they've stopped beating a long time ago. By that time the only contested areas are usually child custody and support, unless there is a great deal of money involved. Did the property settlement not go as he wanted it to? <P>I can only say that you have stood enough and you need a break from this man. Maybe time will bring him more to his senses and bring back the man you loved, but right now you need him out of your life as much as possible. <P>His power over you is gone now and only you can let him hurt you anymore. You still have to deal with his seeing the kids, but you don't have to let him continue to upset you. Give yourself time to recover and then see where you are.<P>We're thinking of you and hoping things go better from now on.<P>Buffy<P><BR> <P>

Dear Nancy (I can't call you Mental - you're no crazier than I am.)<P>I don't have any advice. Just want to offer sympathy. This is rotten. My guess is that he was recording the phone call conversation to your D as a way of building up a case of his own innocence should he b investigated by child welfare authorities in the future. he could turn to the tape and say "See, I knew nothing about D's injury."<P>Rest easy.<P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess