My H and I are taking baby steps toward recovery after he had an A a little over a year ago. We both struggle with LBs sometimes, but our relationship gets better as time goes on.<P>Anyway, the problem is my H's ex-girlfriend. They're still really good friends, and I've never had a problem with her (primarily because she's on the other side of the country ) She has a *bit* of a holier-than-thou attitude when it comes to my H, because she feels that she knows him better than anybody since she's known him for seven years, and they keep in contact on and off. Well, she has never acted like she's very fond of me, even though we've never met, and I just got my husband to admit that when she calls him, she'll tell him that she's not over him and that she's still in love with him, etc. As a BS, I'm not taking this too well, but I don't know what to do. He says he doesn't encourage her, but at the same time he doesn't discourage her either. He was her first and only boyfriend, and the relationship ended 5 years ago. Should I not worry about it since she's on the other side of the country, or should I let my husband know how uncomfortable I am with this?

Whoa! I would say that friendship has run it's course. He is your H, not hers. When H and I first started dating he had several ex GFs who used to call him. They all wanted to date him again. Being Mr. Nice Guy conflict avoider he never told them not to call anymore but made it a point to talk about me a lot and how happy he was with me. It didn't take long befoer the calls stopped coming. I would definitely say somehting about this.

BTW, another important factor in this whole equation - my H left his ex-wife for this woman 7 years ago...and the ex-wife and the "friend" were good friends!

I think your H needs to get her completely out of your lives. Any relationship that does not enhance the marriage, takes away from it. Any person that can cause a triangle (two against one) situation, is not a good person to have one spouse confiding in. If he gets mad at you for something and it becomes an unresolved issue, he's got an ally. She can bolster his resentment and use it against you. She's already undermined one marriage. She's probably very skilled at how to do that. Are you going to give her the chance to work her magic on yours? You know she wants the man. <P>Being across country means NOTHING. My H's hussy was across country, but she kept in secret contact with him. She moved her 2-3 years ago and is now living with my H. She's married with a child, and her family is half way around the world. Do you think that stopped any determined woman who felt she was "in love"?