On Tuesday my H got a letter from his lawyer about the upcoming motion for him to provide his net worth statement. When he opened the letter he got quite pissed off. I told him that I have been in limbo for almost a year and he shows no sign of giving up the OW. I said I was sorry that it came to this point but I had to do something. That night after he got mad he settled down and acted real nice. Scary.<P>Well each night he has been home this week. Scary very scary. Then today I said that I would be leaving work at 3:30 and catching a ride home with friends. Well at 3:15 I get a call at work that he is there looking for me. He came to give me a ride home. He is working on the same campus where I work and he stopped to see if I wanted to ride with him. <P>Then he asked me if I wanted to go to the lake with him on Sunday and take his parents boat. Thank god not the same lake where our camp is that he took the OW. Don't really care to ever go back there. He hasn't wanted to do anything with me for months and months.<P>Now what is up?????? Is he sincere or is it his way of trying to butter me up seeing the court date for the motion is Monday. I really don't want to get my hopes up. He hasn't told me that he isn't seeing the OW so that bothers me too. <P>What should I do how should I act? Should I go to the lake or not?<P>What a pickle. Also tomorrow his nephew is getting married. Boy I really don't know if I can stomach a wedding ceremony. At least I know I was invited and not the OW.

Wow bc,<P>Is all of his time accounted for since this happened?<P>Wow.<P>I hope he's not jerking your chain, so to speak. I hope you scared him enough for his fog to lift. I can't imagine him inviting you to the lake with his parents a real great move if he's not sincere.<P>Wow.<P>Sorry, but what a turn around.<P>You know, I don't even trust the guy, and I'll never set eyes on him!!!<P>Take it very slowly. Don't even dare hope right now. Be strong, he obviously responds very well to you when you are strong. Don't even ask him about OW. Heck, he hasn't tried to hide his relationship with her in the past, why would he start now? <P>I don't know what else to say, but of course...wow.<P>Keep up the good work...BE STRONG.<P>allison

bc,<P>You're still in Plan A... right?...<P>Then keep it up...<BR>...but keep your expectations low...<P>...when and if you make to Plan B...<BR>...then change your approach!<P>Go for the trip...<P>Prayers...<P> <P>Jim

Could you possibly be getting something you want, bc? I'd take it at face value and try your darndest to make it a weekend filled with good memories. You need to be his safe haven and source of good memories. For once he's choosing to be with you instead of OW. He's done a lot of hurtful things to you. A whole weekend of smile, plan A, smile, plan A, smile, plan A. It may be tough, but what an opportunity. Go for it. Go to the wedding too. <P>

bc, I think I would go, but be cautious, and strong. Plan A would be my route also. <P>It may very well be that the court issue is his wakeup call. Don't let him try to weasel his way out of it, or try to talk you into dropping anything. Stay firm, bc. <P>The pre-trial court hearing we had when we were separated was definitely my husband's wakeup call. We had not spoken for over a month, went to court. My lawyer ate his lawyer for lunch. It was a pretty devastating experience for him, but definitely one he needed to go through. Within two weeks of the court hearing, he was calling, wanting to work things out and come home. The reality of being in court for a DIVORCE got to him. It finally hit him what he was going to lose, materially and emotionally. Things did not go as he thought; God was on my side. <P>You will be in my prayers bc. Stand tough.

I am definately not reading anything into it. Last night he went to a clambake for work and was suppose to be home early but didn't get home till 11:30 but that is earlier than normal and at least he got home. Also too early to have been with the OW seeing she works till 11pm and 20 minutes in the other direction of where my H was.<P>But of course he drank and came home half in the bag. I didn't say anything about him being late or his drinking. This morning's headache was enough of a reminder. I also have tried not to even mention the OW.<P>The court date is Monday and my H was suppose to have contacted his lawyer and he hasn't that I know of. We don't have to be present thank god but the lawyers do.<P>Even if he is trying to change there would have to be alot of changes and rules if I could ever think about being with him and trusting him again seeing all that he has put me through.<P>I do kinda wonder what the OW thinks about him staying home all week but why should I waste me time thinking about her.<P>Thanks for the insight and I am not hoping for anything at this point.

Hi BC -<P>I've been following, just not much time to post......<P>Glad to see that this court thing just may be shaking him up a bit!! I hope that he continues to "think" and get his act together.<P>How did it go at the lake today? Was it just you two? Did he drink? Fill us in.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Didn't go to the lake because it was raining. He did come home last night. Actually I went to the races and the OW was working. I thought she would be out at the local bar after work but she never showed up there. My H and I both went. He asked me if I was going to stop and I said yes. He said ok. Last time he told me I shouldn't go there.<P>Quite a few of our mutual friends were there and they actually made me feel at home seeing my H was sociallizing with all the race people. Unfortunately he was drinking but that is an issue in itself. He even slow danced with me once. I stayed until the bar closed and he was tired and really had too much to drink. So he did agree to ride home with me so he was home last night.<P>Don't know where the OW was. One woman came up to my H and I have very good hearing even in a bar and asked him two or three times where OW was and he just looked at her and shook his head. He knew I heard what she was asking. I then walked over and said to my H,"Are we going home soon we have to get up early and go to the lake" So she heard that and must have realized who I was. It does make me a bit angry that these people act like they are a couple but I guess I should expect that.<P>

bc<P>I know this is far fetched, but when I read it, I just got a funny feeling. I apologize if this offends you, but I just got to post this.<P>I don't know if your H has any violent tendencies, you post about his drinking problem, don't know if he ever gets mean when drinking.<P>Anyway, if you do go on that boat with him, wear a life preserver and let loved ones know exactly where you are going and when to expect you back...especially if this lake is remote or uncrowded.<P>You can't be too careful these days. <P>I hope the lawyer was the wake up call he needed and what I posted above is wayyyyyyy off base.<P>Take care!!!<P>

I hate to say this but the same thought crossed my mind as well. <P>It could be that he got his wake-up call, but do be careful.

I had the same idea, but not the nerve to state it, was really happy to hear it rained.<P>I always say take care, but this time with special emphasis, when you're scared don't dismiss it.<P>Take care

Well my hopes for a new leaf are most likely to be trashed. As I write I took my H to get his truck from the bar where we were last night seeing he rode home with me. I then stopped at the store to pick up a few things and lone and behold my H is not home. I think the OW is working but of course I am wondering if he just had to go and see her seeing he didn't see her last night. Now I could be jumping to conclusions but his past behavior only pushes me to this thought.<P>Well the judge hears my motion tomorrow for him to fill out his net worth statement. I don't have to be present thank goodness and neither does he. I guess the lawyers just are present. If he is with the OW right now then tomorrows happenings are still going to happen and he will still have to pay the consequences.<P>When and only when and a big IF he wants to come clean it will have to be by my set of rules. I guess I got my hopes up too soon and now I will pay the emotional price.