Rez,<BR>I too am where your wife was. I didn't see it coming either because I was content with my life. Yes I would have liked to have more.<BR>But I was following my H's lead. I "thought" he was content. <BR>What I have done is focused on "me" how did I contribute to this. <BR>Some one recently told me, when YOU change the people around you change too.<BR>You said you weren't sure you still liked your wife. Have you considered she might not like herself either.<BR>Look at what you have done. Have you changed?<BR>Did you use to treat her like a queen, then stopped? Did you help more around the house, but don't now? If you look at yourself closely I'm sure there are things you don't do now that you did when you were first married. <BR>This IS a wakeup call that "something" is missing in your marriage. Discover what it is and try to meet each others needs.<BR>If you "won't" or she won't , believe me someone will come along for either of you and Will....<BR>You should try to get your wife talking...<P>Last year during the early part of H's affair. We use to sit and talk for hours on the porch about how he felt. <BR>Well one day he said, I can't see myself years from now just sitting here talking to you. I replied no this isn't my idea of living either. He said Oh I thought you were content to just sit her forever. I said I am only doing it because I thought it was what you wanted. <BR>So the "porch" we both thought it was what the other wanted to do. <BR>Why because we had been married 28 years, and I thought I knew all there was about my H and he me...Wrong.......!!!!<BR>That is a lesson I have learned, as humans we evolve and what once worked for us, now doesn't. We can each grow together, or apart.<BR>Well NOW I am growing by myself, and looking at my part in all of this. <BR>My H at first was able to tell me what I didn't do. What he was unhappy about. <BR>I have tried to change me, he is still kinda slow in changing himself. but it's happening slowly...<BR>Sorry this got me on a roll...
<BR>Hang in there, half the battle is KNOWING you were not satisfied , now the tough part is discovering "why" and how to go about changing..Changing in ways that are acceptable to both of you.<BR>Hang in there.<BR>MB friend<BR>Tyra