They say affairs usually die out after they see the light of day - discovery was almost 8 months ago.<P>They say that the OP will get tired of dealing with the children - maybe she is, but my H is perfectly willing to limit visitation and to demand, via his lawyer, that one of them be evaluated for behavioral problems if that will appease the OW. This is a woman who told to my son that he didn't want to be there when her 17 year old son had his friends over, because he isn't very nice when he is with his friends. And my kid is the one with behavioral problems? At least my daughter has the excuse that she is only 7.<P>They say that the best predictor of whether a relationship will last or not is how well the children get along with the new "stepparent". My kids have said that her children rarely if ever speak to my H, and hardly ever are even on the same floor. Yet he has been living with her for almost 10 months. As far as I know, her kids have never said anything negative about him to my kids. As far as I know they have never said anything about him to my kids, period.<P>They say (on the TOW board) that the worst possible thing to do is have the MM move in too soon, because then he associates his guilt with the OW, and she is likely to become a "transition woman". My H went directly from our house to hers.<P>My H has always been terribly reluctant to change jobs, even when he hated his job. He always hated a long commute. A few weeks ago he quit his job near where we live, after having commuted a long way from her house for nine months, and took a new job, an equally long commute beyond where she lives. For 25 years my H has wanted to live on acreage, and has always hated having neighbors close by. Now he is living in a condo.<P>But with all these negatives, they are still together. He is still pushing for divorce as hard and fast as he can. I am beginning to think that the people who have told me that they hardly ever come back, that they usually stay with the OW, are right. Maybe "love", or lust, or her wealth, does conquer all. <BR>

Or the fact this his head is somewhere between fantasy land and his backside.<P>All those predictors mean nothing in an individual case. Remember that. Nothing.<P>I am on the other side, the betrayer, and did everything the opposite from your H, and yet, I am headed for divorce. All the predictors would have said, "success", but alas, it seems not to be.<P>So, you see, those wise predictors are sometimes not so very wise, after all. <P>~Sheryl