Me again. The Poll taker. <P>Just curious ... How many separated BS's are continuing to be intimate with their WS even tho their WS may still be having sex with the OP.<P>Does the possibility of STDs weigh on you if you are? What are your preventative measures?<P>Jo<P><P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

When I was in the reconciliation mode, the STBX and I were sleeping together. I thought, "*I* am the WIFE! We ought to be intimate!" He used this same logic on me to convince me too saying, "You are my wife."<P>Initially I made him wear a condom because I had the horrible nightmare of getting tested for STDs and did not trust him. After a while, he swore his fidelity and honesty and I stopped insisting on protection. Bad mistake. You would think after a pregnancy scare he'd be a bit more careful, but I ended up with an STD and infertility. That was it. Last straw. No more anything with or without protection. <P>I feel it is my fault, you know? Fooled you once, shame on me. Fool you twice, shame on me. <P>There won't be a third time.<P>I tell you all this so that you will think about what you are doing and not be fooled, as I was, by thoughts of love. A dog is a dog is a dog, no matter how sorry he says he is. My belief in him *could* cost me my life. So far my tests are negative. Let's hope they stay that way.<P>I'm not saying "don't do it". I think having sex was better than not having sex in my case because my H is a horny guy (okay, so am i), but I never should have done it without protection.<p>[This message has been edited by popeye (edited September 08, 2000).]

Jo:<P>STD's never occurred to me because infidelity had never been an issue for 20 years. I instinctively knew my husband was playing around with the OW, but because he refused to admit it, I chose to ignore and used sex to bring him home.<P>I realize now it was extremely stupid of me not to consider it, but luckily, nothing surfaced.<P>Sex was used to reconnect, reaffirm and to establish our relationship. I knew what I was doing at the time. Someone asked me how I could immediately become intimate with my husband again after all he had done to me and I remember thinking at the time that I was taking a chance of perhaps loosing his respect because I may have seemed desperate. It turned out he was more desperate than I was and it was the smartest thing I could have done. It made him remember what we had and who we were...and he wanted that back again.<P>Seventeen days later, she was history.<P>Catnip =^^=

When H was with OW1 He and I had sex fequently. Mainly I did it out of spite for her. H was living with her at the time and I wanted to show her I was his wife. I made him wear protection and I still got tested two times after we reconciled. <P>This time H asked me just yesterday if I still wanted him. I looked at him and just point blank said,"NO", I said,"I'm sure you get enough anyway" and left it at that. <P>Jill

Hey, poll taker...<P>I slept with my H every chance I got while he was still w. OW. I never even thought about STD, I was in total denial...<P>But, the day after D-Day I was tested for STD's and Aids.<P>Never dreamed that someone else could even begin to get him UP!<P>From what he says, she never did! It was a struggle for him and she would have to do things to satisfy herself while with him. She also told him to relax and it would be alright. But, he says he couldn't stop thinking about me.<P>More later...Now, I wanted him to remember how good sex was with me, it has always been a driving force in our, rotten as it was, relationship ... Sex was always the best, as good as it gets. I certainly didn't want her to have a leg up on me in that area and she never did.<P>She drove him crazy for sex, wanted it all the time. He has told me that she put so much pressure on him to do it and to keep it up for her.<P>CpT.<p>[This message has been edited by Catplay (edited September 08, 2000).]

I want it yes, he wants it no. He's "in love with someone else" <P>I will insist on tests before the first time, if I ever get the chance! Maybe I should get some C's just in case I only get one chance! I want to be ready! <P>Pipe dream for now...

Neither my husband nor I was intimate with our ex's our seperation, during or after.

Still intimate! Slowed down a bit since she moved. I don't think her A is physical yet.<P>Oddly enough, sex has been better since D-day. The morning after that day was probably the best ever, and we never had a great sex life to begin with.

CJack-<P>You lucky dog. None for me the whole time it was PA, until the AM the day before dday.<P>Cold as Ice, and really in rush to get it over with. Just a service, but it broke his ice and he told me the next night--though I was cluless!!!<P>None since, not even same bedrooms!