Just found out second time about it. Married for almost four years and about the first three weeks of the marriage he started seeing the other woman. I later discovered that had been seeing her before we got married and then stopped just before we got married. After first discovery I stayed away for about one month a of course he said that he wanted to be with me and that he wanted us to work. Now I find out about three months ago that he has been seeing ow again, from a family member. That he says has been going on for about six months. This time I told him to get out. He is working hard at it, by going to see a counselor and seeing the minister and this time I think that he really means it. The is that these are the same words that he said to me before. He is a wonderful man, he does not have a single mean bone in his body, but I guess that he is also very weak. We do have problems and I guess that his way to handle it was to go talk, etc with the OW. We are trying hard to work at it, but at times fear comes into me as I think 'does he really mean it this time, that he wants it to work?' Ihave such mixed emotions and I do want it to work because I love him and he loves me as well. We have started saying our prayers together in the morning, as I think that is the only one who can help us now. He is so willing to do all these things. I have never had a fight from him to seek a counselor, even before I found out what was going on he said to me "we need to see someone" then I think that we argued about who had the persons number last. I guess that that should have been my hint from him, but I did not take the signal. <BR>Is it possible for our union to work? It's been all aound him, his parents are in this situation, his mom stays in it. Can he break out of the mould, or is it like father like son. Can there be a miracle. <BR>Confused and afraid to be hurt again.

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I believe your marriage can be healed, but it is going to take lots of time and effort. It sounds like your husband has some serious personal issues to identify and work on.....if his father has been unfaithful, then it is possible that this is "familial" behavior. He will have to be in individual counseling to work on this, as well as couples counseling with you.<P>Read the book Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. It has a chapter about how affairs in the family history impact subsequent generations. It is also scripturally based and my personal favorite book on the healing process.<P>------------------<BR>"They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31<P>

Dear HGBrawner,<BR>Thank you so very much for the inspiration and the scriptural passage. They really touched my heart and made me think that this really is possible. <BR>My husband is still going to counselling on his own. I guess that I need to make the necessary plans for us to go together as well. We pray together in the morning and at night. I am really hoping that this will really work. I try to remember that a family that prays together, stays together.<BR>He is trying, and I am really hoping that he does not see the OW again. He has given me all access to his pass codes for his phone, computer among other things. He is making a big effort though at times I find it hard to believe him, just because of what happened in the past. I need to do alot of praying.<BR>Thanks again for your inspiration.