My H. came over last night, and proceeded to be passionately intamate with me. Then afterwards, got up and left. I cried most of the night. Now, he comes back in the morning, cooks breakfast for everyone, I go to work, come home, and he leaves about an hour later, deciding to come back by on Monday. Said he had things to do, like get his computer up and running. Said that he still wants to talk about us. But I still have no prove that the OW is not in the picture. OW in on line only, but detailed love letters, planning to meet Christmas time. H. said he has stopped, but won't give me access to his email accounts, yet he has accesss to mine. He asked for money for food, gas, and extras. I gave him $50.00 and that is all. I work, he hasn't worked in seven years. I am not sure what I need to do now. Plan A is crashing around me fast. I have wonderful support system who tells me to dump him, but my heart is involved. Does anyone know who to hack into an email? LOL gn

Hi gn,<P>After H denied A I was watching Dr Laura when they were oddly enough talking about how to confront your spouse. They talked about this software to install and it takes pics of pages he views, even chat conversations, just like a camera. It's Spector, and after some time, I got a lot of info, emails he sent and received, he hasnt found it yet, and they say even the most inclined user can't locate it. I don't know but if you can try it, look into it. They have many kinds. go online and search for spy software and look it up. I've been saving info to a disk, so if the worse case senario happens then I'm prepared. I wouldnt have done this, but he's been deceiving me all this time, I feel I have know. If he takes his comp w/ him, then get the software that emails you reports of his activity. Change your passwords. he shouldnt have that kind of access, it's only fair, you don't anything to hide, but he might.<P>Fury

Thank you Fury! I will locate Spector now and see if I can get help. I need to know too, I need to know how honest he is with me, and if I am fool to believe in him again. I can't thank you enough for your support. I will post as soon as I can! Smile, gn

Fury, unfortunately Spector can't help me. I do not have access to H.'s PC. H. has it hooked up at his Mom home. H. moved it out there when I confronted him. Before confrontation, I hacked in by answering his secret question. Now I don't know how I can get proof that h. is still emailing ow. Not sure what to do now, just keep plan a going, and see what God has for me. gn

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by snugglermi:<BR><B>Fury, unfortunately Spector can't help me. I do not have access to H.'s PC. H. has it hooked up at his Mom home. H. moved it out there when I confronted him. Before confrontation, I hacked in by answering his secret question. Now I don't know how I can get proof that h. is still emailing ow. Not sure what to do now, just keep plan a going, and see what God has for me. gn</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Stick to Plan A. I face the same dilemma. I don't want to be the fool but I also don't become neurotic trying to find things out by snooping. I know she had contact with this man. I don't know how much contact or if it's continuing. She knows I would probably leave if I discover it again. The OM is married and I asked her if he promised to leave his wife. She said it was never discussed. Who knows? If she truly wants to make our marriage work, then I'll know by her actions. If you love someone else, I think certain things such as intimacy are definitely affected. If she keeps me at arm's length for that reason, it'll become apparent. I'd rather hear the truth from her but I think she's torn and not capable of making that decision. She could be waiting for him to make up his mind before telling me the truth or as I hope she really does want the marriage. If that's the case I want to give it every opportunity to work by Plan A'ing to the max.<BR>

Help! H. says that he isn't emailing her, but yet he is on line so much now. And the OW changed her email address. My snooping has been stopped in its tracks. But I also know that he can manipulate me into his control by showing me affection. I have wanted affection from him for so long, and now he is giving it to me. He even emailed yesterday, for the first time! Yet he has had email for years, and so have I! This relationship is getting difficult, confusing, and I feel like I'm drowning! gn

<BR>Gn, if you can, stick w/Plan A regardless of his new affections. My H is trying to be communicative and affectionate, yet I just heard H on the phone flirting w/ a coworker who is married, with the usual "What are you wearing" crap and little sweet nothings. It took me a whole lot of strenth not to LB and slap the... oh well you know.. So until he comes totally clean, keep observing and read, read ,read.. It's hard for me to do things as if everything was normal and not want to yell and scream. While he acts as if nothing is going on. All I keep telling myself is one day.....<P>Fury