I have not JUST find out but I try to find help.<BR>I am 42 and my H od 42 has a lover of 32 for a year (she has never been married, is well known for having more lovers, abortions and caused some marriage brakes; and WE were first to each other, ). At the beginning we tried with counceling but it failed. 4 months ago he bought me and my younger D (10) a new appartment and he and our older D (18) stayed in our family house. Until then we are separated and we devided our financial matters but he doesn't fill for divorce. He started to constantly live with his lover and older D two months ago. He picks our younger D every weekend but they hate each other (D and OW). I am the whole year desperate and I only want him back to restore the family, I still love him so much, I am ready to forgive him everything only to come back. But he non-stop repeats he would never be back, he doesn't love me for more than 10 years, I didn't show him love for a long time, I was not enough interested in sex... and that he would soon fil for divorce., what I am terrible afraid. I already had an suicide attempt and when I get a court invitation I think I would kill myself for real. I could not live without him, I cry all day and night and I am a disaster for my young D. I have lost 60 pounds and to be honest I am now quite a good (not as she) good looking., but my life has no sence any more. You all here seem to me much more reasonable, can you help me ? How to forget him and learn to live alone? Is it possible after 21 year relationship? Is possible a reconciliation after so long affair? Is there any possibility for me and D that he would be back , whenever?<BR>Has anyone positive expirience after such a long affair, but relatively short (4 months) separation? I love him so much, I need him desperately, I miss him in every sence, even in sex. What would be my future without him? Last few month I tried with REIKI (I don't know if it is right spelled in English), I try and try but I still can't move on. My H is so ocuupated with the OW so she is even more important to him than our YD, and he is so long in that affair so I can't see the hope for me that he would be back to me: old, not so attractive, too much educated and obviously not enough good and gentle and nice in every sence (especially sex) for him. Even my OD refuses contact with me, she much more likes OW, cause she is more fun, does not control her, leave her freedom to do what she wants...<BR>Did you ever hear that such a long affair (it seems to me that they become more and more happy) can end in reconciliation with the spouse? How can I become interesting for him? I can't accepthe left me forever .<BR>Have anyone some smart advice or some good experience?<P><P>------------------<BR>dv
