I am about 3 weeks into D Day. My W tells me that her office affair is over. The OM tells me that it is over. I am very suspicious and insecure that there is still some sort of communication. My W insists that this is not the case and that I need to move past this. Things that she has said to me after my discovery like "I feel I deserved this" "I'm just sorry you found out" "If I knew what you really knew about the affair I wouldn't have admitted it" make me very insecure. Things kinds of things as well as the lying have me in total turmoil. But she says I need to move on because nothing is happening. Although she is not sure whether she wants to stay with me. I have really tried to the best of my abilities to be supportive, loving, understanding but at this moment none of these qualities seem to matter.<P>Anyway. She talks about wanting to be independant. Although she doesn't have much of an explanation about what that really means. She says that she needs a day and a night to herself. Go out to a spa, get her haircut, get her nails done, get a massage, etc. And then a night in a hotel to herself where she can smoke, watch TV, get room service. I think that if this is what she needs great... But I am suspicious it is a plot to meet the OM. I mean if she previously had no regrets why wouldn't she do whatever she had to to arrange for a date for herself. She says that she won't do the night out because I don't trust her.<P>I have said "what can you do to help me with this?" She says there is nothing she can do but tell me nothing is going on.<P>Any advice on how I can deal with this? Should I just let her go and hope?

I am afraid that I agree with your analysis. It sounds like she is lying to you and the affair is continuing. She is clearly not remorseful. She should be begging you for forgiveness and trying to make you feel secure. It is laughable that she tells you she wants a day to herself and spend an evening alone in a hotel. You could always hire a Private Investagator and have her followed and then you would know for sure.<BR>I am afraid she is continuing her disrespectful towards you. She must think that you are an idiot to believe this hotel thing. I wish you luck.

I agree 100% with bryanp. It's still going on. You should protect yourself first. See a lawyer and a private investigator. <P>Plan A, in my opinion, is for restoring the marriage. You really need to go to plan B to protect yourself. Quickly. This lunacy about needing a night in a hotel every week is absurd. You'll find her excuses getting wierder by the minute.<P>Bama