See my earlier post LOST LOVE. My wife is still in contact and meting OM. She denies anything is going on they are just friends. I tapped the phone and have tapes of her discussing her relationship w/OM with her friends. She also admits to doing it with OM. She talks about how they are in love. I told her Im not a fool and know whats going on. She denies it to the hilt and says shes not F*****G anyone else. She says Im crazy and its all in my mind and shes sick of it. My question is should I confront her with the tapes????

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Austin:<BR><B>My question is should I confront her with the tapes????</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Yeah!<P>

The same thing happened to me. After hearing all of her denials I put a cassette tape of recorded phone conversations in her car's tape deck, set to play with her talking about the great sex that they had...and said nothing more. I only wish I could have seen the look on her face as she heard her own voice as she drove to work. Bye the way, I am very happy and have just remarried to a wonderful woman.

Ditto to Dogbert....I never thought I would say that

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by freddyb:<BR><B>Ditto to Dogbert....I never thought I would say that </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Don't refuse the light.

<B>My question, should I confront her with tapes???</B><BR>Wanna go to jail? Taping conversations you are not part of is illegal in all states.<P>Also, if you tell her about it, she will simply find other ways & be more secretive.<P>You can tell her you know she is having an affair. She will deny it, but just leave it there. Don’t try to sway her to confessing. You could play her the tapes & she would STILL deny it saying something like, “I knew you were taping & I was teaching you a lesson.”<P><P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Ok so making tapes of a conversation you are not part of is illegal.

That said make a copy of a short bit of the most incriminating part of the tapes. Play that for her. Keep the originals in a safe deposit box or some other place.

Or, make a transcript of that portion of the tape and let her read it. Tell you you have more.. maybe hours of it.

It's is almost best to let her know that you have concrete proof but not to let her know how much you have.

<small>[ June 04, 2003, 09:51 PM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>

Your wife sounds as deep in the denial heap as my husband did when I was asking the same questions you are. They actually believe we are stupid and can be convinced we're the irrational one. He called me crazy, threaten to divorce me for being a nut case and called me some reallly terrific names. He came close to convincing me I was the nut case, I didn't have hard proof of anything until two weeks ago. A private investigator investigating the woman my husband had had the affair with had tapes and phone records and the whole 9 yards. When I confronted him he exploded, denied everything, threw me into a wall and onto the floor, broke whatever was handy, put his fist through a rocking chair. The kids and I left, he said he wouldn't be here when I came back. He was, calmed down and admitted it all. I'm new at this but I say confront her but BE CAREFUL. It will eat you up inside if you don't, and you can't go to jail for tapping your own phones, you just can't use them in court proceedings. I agree, keep a set safe in a safety deposit box or with a trusted family member or freind, if for no other reason but for you to listen to whenever you doubt yourself and what you know to be true. Good luck, my prayers are with you