He told me he wanted to move out a couple of months ago after the first confrontation. NOthing but tension since. When symptoms of the affair rose again, I kept close track of clues and had him followed. He picked up a woman in a dark parking lot, etc etc. She's his friend's girlfriend. I told the friend. Friend is devastated.<BR>My H. totally denied everything! Here I thought the evidence was overwhelming. And continues to live here.<BR>He said he was looking for an apartment, but seems to be coasting... living here... perhaps the affair is continuing, but deep underground. It's probably even more exciting that way. It hurts so much that he's lying about it to family and me. Having him here in the house now is downright insulting if anything. It's a big lie. <P>At this point I am so disgusted with his narcissism,total lack of affection (I used to ask him to hug me once a month) selfishness (he ignores the kids - pursues his own interests only), sloth, and sex-addict persona (he thinks porn is o.k. and lovemaking usually has an impersonal demeaning quality to it)... I just want to get rid of him....<BR>A month ago I was desparate to work on the marriage. <P>Now that I'm starting to wash my hands of him, I think he's having second thoughts. <P>problem is I'm so disgusted. I have 3 little ones here at home and have been so distracted and miserable that I haven't been able to keep up with anything. <P>I really don't want him back if he's going to be the same. I did tell him that if he wanted to stay married to me that we needed a MAJOR overhaul. <P>So should I encourage him to find an apartment?