D-Day was Nov 01, 36 hours after we moved into our brand new home! I discovered by finding a journal in a night stand and two home pregnancy tests. The journal detailed every little detail of their first time as well as the fact that she had become pregnant with twins. Thank god she had a miscarriage. Not a good read for me. I went onto our computer and found some other niceties detailing where every time was. In our house, on bed, couch, and in bathroom. There is not a place I can go without being reminded of the A. Needless to say but I freaked and kicked her out. She is back now and seems remoursefull. <p>I guess I knew about the A since Feb/Mar but I was in denial. She started staying out all night and was always talking about OM. He is a co-worker at the bar she worked at while she was completing her education degree. <p>Back in may on the night of her graduation party the two of them snuck into our house while everyone was outside and decided to do it in our bathroom. I found them locked in the room and they did not come out untill her younger brother almost busted the door down. She still denied that they did anything but that they were just discussing OM's problems with his girlfriend. The OM's girlfriend was at the party and considered my W as a friend.<p>I don't need to fill in all the gory details but we had split in early Aug after she came back from the longweekend with family and the OM at the family cabin. Needless to say she was still very deffencsive about her family thinking her behavior with this OM was not appropriate. We got into a huge argument and she essentialy said that she did not know if she wanted to be married any more. I left. I did not feel like i was wanted or needed anymore. I deffiniatly took a back seat to OM. The whole time she always made me feel guilty about suspecting something more.<p>We are going to councelling and she continuously states that she loves me but that she is still guarded about our uncertain future. I guess that is the way i feel as well. She stated that she has had no contact with the OM since early Nov when I kicked her out.<p>Now that the computer was back in the house i found further correspondence between her and OM dating back only a few days ago. In one e-mail she is telling him that she is horny and that maybe they should not meet for lunch as they planned. I also found that she had been on a date with another man she met while she was out. The cell phone bill has his number showing up on it again. I confronted her and she stated that it all was innocent and that they have not done anything sexually. She claims that the date was just to a hockey game with two other of this guys friends. I don't know what to believe? <p>Just today i hit recall on the phone and found OM's work number on the phone. She left stating that she was going to see her councellor. She does have meetings on thursdays with the councellor but now I am wondering. <p>She says she wants to work on the marriage but she is still having contact with OM even thought I asked her not to. She still tells me that she really misses his friendship. <p>What the hell do I do? I don't know if I can trust her. I can't keep finding out things or our marriage is doomed. <p>Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.<p>We have been married for 5 years. W has been is university for the entire time. Thankfully there are no children in the mix.

I am sorry for the pain that you are going thru. I don't really have any words of wisdom but there are many here who will. <p>I think all contact should stop between W and OM but again, others will tell you the best course of action to take.<p>Just wanted to let you know I am here, listening and care.

This is going to be a tough love message so here goes. You have got to be out of your mind to even think about staying with this woman. She shows the ultimate in disrespect for you and clearly thinks you are a fool. The bathroom story is classic. She must think you are a total idiot. How much more humiliation do you need? I think you need to go into therapy to understand why your self esteem is so low that you wish to remain with this liar and cheat who humiliates you every chance she gets. Clearly she is using you. I do hope you are being checked for STD's. Why do you think so little of yourself? I think you deserve so much more in your life. Why would you settle for someone like this?
Please seek therapy to understand why you feel you need to have such pain in your life. Good Luck.

I'm with BryanP. Dude, your wife doesn't give sh** one about you. I don't care how "innocent" a particular date might have been, if my wife were even out with another guy selling bibles I'd be tripped out. The thing is, she doesn't care. <p>A woman who cares and loves you wouldn't go out without inviting you. A woman who loves you would rather be with you than ANYONE. A woman who loves you would happily turn down a date with Tom Cruise if it made you uncomfortable.<p>Man, I can't believe some of these situations. Is this what the world is coming to? Is this what feminism has led to? Women seem to have more balls than men do these days. <p>Listen, gentlemen, (TyCush, are you listening?) I firmly believe that men need to turn the clocks back just a bit to when things were a little healthier, ie, when men were men and not snivelling wimps begging their own wives not to
bang every guy in sight. Ya gotta lay down the law. I guarantee the attraction your wife has to the other guy hjas something to do with the fact that he stands up for himself and ;ays out what's what. Women hate wimps. And the bar has been raised, because women are becoming stronger and more self sufficient every year. <p>So toughen up! Put some testosterone into the mix and start to rule things for a change! Yeah! Now! Now! Go! Go! Go!