Well, to begin is really hard because I considered my Pastor to be my best friend and brother. My W tipped me off by saying that I was constanly trying to follow up on her and listen to her conversations while she was on the phone at home. This really disturbed me because I knew the things she was saying were not true. At first I thought that maybe I was doing those things, and she had me beleiving it, but after awhile I felt something was wrong. This is when I did something that sometimes I regret(such a dummy).
I picked up her cell phone and listened to her voicemail. This was such an invansion of her privacy and I actually did the very thing that she accused me of, but I felt I had no other choice because she wasn't being straight with me.
Anyway, this is when the bombshell dropped and I found out that he was saying some things that were very inappropiate to my W. At first I tried to make up an excuse and tell myself that there must be something else going on and it is not really happening. For about 2 days I was in complete shock. She seemed to going about her daily routine as if there was nothing going on. I wanted to approach her about it then, but I was wrong in listening to her voicemail and if I was wrong then I really would have torn her apart by not beleiving in her and accusung her of something that may have not been true. My next move was even lower than the voicemail and this is something that I even regret more because I completely violated her privacy. I taped her phone conversations.<p>After about five days I heard more than I really needed to and I guess I kept listening because I just couldn't beleive it because they would sometimes talk in generalities. After hearing about when they met and how she felt afterward it really put the nail in the coffin.<p>I knew they had a friendship and I didn't have a problem with that because I knew that he would sometimes counsel her. our families are extremly close and I have even trusted him with my house but I guess I was very wrong and that is what makes this hurt so bad. If it had been another man that I didn't know I still would be hurt but the fact that it was my brother first, friend second and Pastor third really sets me back about alot. <p>right now I'm not attending church becuse I don't want to be under his pastorialship and beleive me there are more conflicts that are involved and maybe I'll get into them later but right now my life is out of control and I just don't know which way to go. If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice please speak.<p>MikeD3