i went to bestfriends house and found my wife there.they say nothing happened but they wouldnt come to door..im keeping this short..would like to talk to somebody who had same thing happen and find out what you did..are you in same town still..are you still friends????or do you hate his guts

I am sorry what you are going through. It happened to me and my ex and my friend (but not my best friend) also would not come to the door. My ex said nothing happened. Later after the divorce she finally admitted that they had indeed were having sex when I came to the door. I thought it was pretty obvious anyway and knew she was lying. Why would you not answer the door unless you were unable to do so because it would have been obvious.
We ended up divorce and I have not seen the ex or the friend for many many years.

I think your wife needs to be honest with you because it is doubtful she is telling you the truth. I would suggest counseling. I always thought this was the worst kind of betrayal. Not only did your wife disrespect you to have an affair but to do it with your best friend was a double betrayal to you. She would have to have a lot of anger and disrespect for you to do this to you. Again I suggest counseling if you really wish to be with this person but she needs to be honest with you for you to recover. I wish you luck.

I had something similar happen and yes, it was my former best friend too. She lived next door, and was my H's employee and married to partner/best friend. I went over there to return something and knocked and knocked. I did not know my H was there at first, then I saw his car.

I could see that they were not downstairs and the only rooms upstairs were bedrooms. I have never felt so sick in all of my life. I went home and called her. It took her forever to answer the phone and she gave some flimsy excuse about them 'talking.' She said that they didn't hear me knocking.

Last summer when I found out the truth, I asked my H about this. He said they were not having sex, but they were upstairs on her bed and he had his arm around her. Comforting her about something or another. Yes, they knew it was me at the door and yes, they purposely didn't answer it. Very hurtful. As you know, to have 2 people you hold so dear do something so awful.

It's bad enough to recover from an affair, but when it's your friend, it's more than double the pain.

Don't give up. We've made it with lots of prayers and counseling, and mostly time. It really does get better, but for me the hurt will always be there.

I send you a hug and a prayer

montrose-are you still around? Let us know how you are doing!

STILL HERE,BEEN VERY DEPRESSED,,NOT SURE WHAT TO DO,,THINGS ARE ROUGH..
CALLED A FRIEND LAST NIGHT TO SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING..SAID HE HAD BEEN DRINKING STARTED AT NOON.AND WAS SHOOTING POOL AT A PERSONS HOUSE THAT I DONT CARE FOR....SO I SAID SEE YA AND HUNG UP..HE CALLED TODAY ASKED WHY I HUNG UP..I SAID THAT HE WAS DRUNK AND NOT MAKING SENSE.HE SAID HE WENT DRINKING WITH (EX BEST FRIEND)THEN THEY WENT OVER TO A PERSONS HOUSE THAT I DONT LIKE..HE WAS ACTING FUNNY ON PHONE,,LIKE HE WAS WATCHING WHAT HE WOULD SAY..WELL I ENDED THE PHONE CALL RIGHT AFTER THAT..WELL I LOOK AT IT THIS WAY..I LOST MY BEST FRIEND DUE TO HE SEEN MY WIFE,,THEY ARE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER ANYMORE..I LOST ANOTHER DUE TO HIS WIFE IS A BIT--..SHE TOLD HIM TO PICK HER OR ME..AND I TOLD HIM THAT WAS STUPID FOR HER TO SAY THAT..ME AND HER NEVER GOT ALONG..THAT WAS THE PLACE THEY WERE SHOOTING POOL..SO THE WAY I LOOK AT IT,,,TO GET AWAY FROM HEARING THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF HER AFFAIR I WILL DROP ALL FRIENDS THAT KNOW ABOUT AFFAIR....HE SHOULD HAVE NEVER SAID THAT EX BEST FRIEND WAS THE ONE HE WENT OUT WITH...IT JUST SHOT MY WHOLE DAY...IM GETTING TO THE POINT I DONT THINK I CAN HANDLE THIS WHOLE MESS..DOES THIS MAKE SENSE???????? PLEASE REPLY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I also felt that way. We had mutual friends that would still go out with my H, etc. when they knew about his affair. Our best man from our wedding actually told him 'I don't see anything terribly wrong with you trying to be happy.' That was like a knife through my heart.

Another male friend had the nerve to tell me about the OW "you must admit, her smile could light up a room." Not what I wanted to hear at all!

I guess if you haven't been in our shoes, you can never know the pain and so you say stupid things. Even now, years later, I don't care to be around people who didn't support me during the affair.

I wish I could help you. Thinking about you and hope you keep posting. You are not alone!

hello maggierose
how are you hope this finds you well..
did you drop your friends?what did you do to keep out the info from others?
i keep thinking i cant handle this.it just seems to be to much to handle..its in my brain all the time..thank you

hi maggierose are you still with us??????
just drop a line......to let us know how you are

Yes, I'm still around! I've been busy, my baby got baptized last weekend. It took me many days to clean and get ready. Housework has not been a priority that past few months! I've been doing pretty well.

There are definitely trigger days. My former friend worked at my H's office and I went there to help last week. I sat there wondering where it was that they kissed, etc. Made me sick to my stomach.

No, our friendship was never resolved. She never admitted the truth or apologized. She did say she was sorry for trying 'to be his friend.' Yeah, right. Like friends have sex and cheat on their spouses.

Let us know how YOU are doing!