I just became engaged to my fiance in February. he was in the Marine Corps and stationed in CA. My being in Boston made it hard for our relationship, but we kept it going until he finally moved home in May. Since he has been home, I suppose he is excited with new relationships, female to be specific. He got a job at a local restauraunt, and has been coming home late, wanting to go there when he is not working and I found out today that he has been calling girls from work without me knowing about it. What bothers me is that one girl is very underage (17) and I just feel like there is no reason to be calling girls on their cell phones if you are engaged! Shouldn't he be thinking about saving money to buy a house, having children, planning our wedding!? I do not want to jump to comclusions, but I see no reason for him to be friends or exchanging telephone numbers with these girls. I don't want to say anything for fear of sounding jealous or over protective. Confused......

<small>[ August 28, 2002, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: AliKate ]</small>

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Hi AliKate,

Welcome to MB!

I'm assuming from your post that you aren't married yet... Have you and your fiancee gone through pre-marriage counseling?

Sneaking phone calls to other women and hiding this from you is a huge red flag. I would confront him and let him know that this is unacceptable to you.

If you aren't able to confront him over a few phone calls, then I would seriously consider postponing the marriage... it will only get worse.

An intimate marriage is built on honesty and trust... it sure doesn't appear that he's being very honest with you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Semper Fi,
RIF90

Hi,
Lets see,

Shouldn't he be thinking about saving money to buy a house, having children, planning our wedding!?

Yes he should! There is something wrong here! Start reading on the main site. Start here
( if you have not already been here) Preparing for marriage

On the left is a menu - there is a lot to learn.

I recommend you pospone things until you know what you want. He needs some help ( but we all do, so it may work. ) Let us know how things go.

SS

You are not wrong to feel that way.

Be careful. Don't marry him if there are any big red flags. It only gets harder in marriage as the years go by.