Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
| Tax-deductible Donation | Site Tour | Meet Dr. Harley | Basic Concepts | Q&A Columns | Articles | Guidance Forum

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Forums Calendar Active Threads
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
want to meet and confront OW. any advice?
#417952 10/09/02 02:06 PM
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4
M
mini Offline OP
Junior Member
OP Offline
mini
Junior Member
M
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4
the OW is my H's co-worker. i've met her once at my kid's b-day party. i've called her after finding out about their affair. she denied anything ever happening. my H told me otherwise. she says she was never interested in him and that they were just really good friends.
H and OW still work together closely. they go out to dinner for business together with other people . i feel i need to meet her in person but am not sure what i should say. i know what i want to say but i am not sure if it is the best thing. i know that my H still has strong feeling about her and is still very attracted to her. i don't really know what her intentions were for having the A. my H is her boss. please help..
Re: want to meet and confront OW. any advice?
#417953 10/09/02 05:05 PM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
Northern California
R
redhat Offline
Member
Offline
redhat
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
Northern California
mini,

Don't !. What is your purpose of confronting her ? what outcome do you expect ?

-RH-
Re: want to meet and confront OW. any advice?
#417954 10/09/02 07:32 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,190
F
freshstart Offline
Member
Offline
freshstart
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,190
Mini, I'm with Redhat. You might just drive your H right back into her arms.

If you really need to "vent"--write a letter expressing all your feelings and then immediately SHRED it! Do NOT send it to her.

It's important that you keep your dignity and don't allow this woman to further humiliate you. It's also important that your H can trust you (I know that seems unfair when it doesn't seem you can trust him but he DID admit the A to you, right?)

I'm sorry you have to go through this pain. You won't regret the decision to let this meeting with her pass you by. Guaranteed.
Re: want to meet and confront OW. any advice?
#417955 10/11/02 05:34 AM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 284
D
DJ T-Bird Offline
Member
Offline
DJ T-Bird
Member
D
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 284
So, basically, the Affair is still going on, right? I know this sounds hard, but to really end an Affair, it has to be NO CONTACT - and that means your hubby needs another job. Hard choices and hard decisions. I'd say it's a safe bet that - no matter what BS they spout to you - the Affair is still ongoing, or it may flare up again now and then, but it's still alive! Can you begin Plan A or B - depending on where you and him are right now?
One last thought (with tongue-in-cheek) don't confront her on the "Jerry Springer Show"!
Good luck and God bless you both, Harold
Re: want to meet and confront OW. any advice?
#417956 10/14/02 03:35 PM
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 49
P
PasDeDeux Offline
Member
Offline
PasDeDeux
Member
P
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 49
Hi Mini.

I know what you mean about that you HAVE to do this. I had to also. I had to know EVERYTHING. Be careful what you wish for because you will be stuck with those images long after they are history to your H.

Sometimes, I wish that I hadn't met her, and didn't know every detail. They give you something to obsess about. They provide all of the triggers for pain everytime something familiar to that situation comes up.

Of course, if I had to do it all over again (no, no!!) I would probably have to know again.

Good luck,
PDD

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (Open Leaf), 295 guests, and 73 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Steven Round, sonali pawar, Carter Whitaker, Pogre, katharine369
71,978 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
I didn’t have a chance
by Open Leaf - 05/20/25 07:15 AM
My spouse is becoming religious
by Open Leaf - 05/16/25 12:57 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by BrainHurts - 05/15/25 10:29 AM
Lack of sex - anyway to fix it?
by Open Leaf - 05/13/25 10:42 AM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Open Leaf - 05/09/25 12:45 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,505
Members71,979
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Forum Rules · Mark All Read Contact Us · Forum Help · Marriage Builders
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Feedback | Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | Site Map | Account
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5