My WH and I spoke this morning about Coworker. He has been involved in EA with coworker. He has deceided to transfer (hopefully next week) to a different location for "more than 1 reason". I know the Main reason is not her, it is his boss. He did tell me in the past that the other reason was her. He will be changing his profession entirely in June. He told me that he has told OW that he will be leaving soon and she told him that "she couldnt sleep, is upset, blah, blah, blah". She apparently had a problem with the other worker that was there before him and there is a chance that he will be back ( I am sure my WH is a big part as well). He replied to her that "he is not staying just because of her" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> (I am sure he didnt quite word it like that to her). I told him that "she needs to take charge of her life". I know that essentially he agrees with this. I thought about my statement, wondered if I should have said it, and then made up my mind that I am glad I said it. I beleive I am getting stronger and my WH is seeing this. Has anyone has had similar experiences? thanks

Married 4/88
2 kids 9 & 6
Dday - 10/12/02-WH says wants out, unhappy for 4 years, we deceide to work on marriage.
01/03-WH says he is not "connecting" with me. I mention possible EA with co-worker, he seems genuinely surprised and answers "yes". Fog settles in-OW wants him to move in.
2/17/03-WH tells OW he is "not committed to her and wants to stay with family. I am Plan Aing and have been like crazy since Oct, seeing baby step improvements.

Doesn't sound like he was angry by your statement. HOw has your H been since?

L.

Hi Orchid,

No, he wasnt angry when I said that about OW. He has been SLOWLY changing the last couple of weeks. He has been helpful, respectful and affectionate. I think that since he told OW that he was staying with his family he is putting in extra effort (of course he would never admit to this-Alpha Male). We had a nice talk Monday night, one of our friends has just seperated from his wife and my WH is giving advice (weird ha??). While he was on the phone he was asking me my opinion ect---I said in passing that I still have issues and it is definetely a day to day struggle sometimes. My WH then asks me later on that night, what issues I have "is he for real"? (I think). Der, I told him , respectfully of course, TRUST????!!! He then replied that "nothing is going on" and told me that he is trying to stay away from OW. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I told him I know this, (which I do for a fact), that he is making an effort and I really appreciate it. Hows that for a Plan A move, pretty smooth hey??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> If it wasnt for Xanax sometimes I think I would have bopped him one. I know that he still is e-mailing her and sees her at work. He should be transferring pretty soon. I know that the transfer is not a guarantee and I try not to get my hopes up, but I cant help but think it is going to help even if just a little. I am praying like crazy, and trying to stay "happy". I have "let go" of MOST of my suspicious thoughts whenever he is out, I have really tried not to let it take over like before. I really believe this is going to take alot of TIME, and PATIENCE. This was not so easy to say a week, or a month ago. Trying to take it day by day. Are you in a similar sitch?