My husband and I have been married for 9 years. We have two beautiful children, 8 and 5 months. He had an affair 3 years ago with someone that he met on a chat line. I thought that was the end of it but I have found out that he contiues to call chat lines. I recently got him a cell phone because he drives a truck and is gone all week. I got him the cell phone so he could call us and we could call him. But told him when I gave it to him to be mature about it and not abuse the fact that I got him a phone. The first month he used 1900 minutes of a 500 minute plan that his and my phone draw from. I checked the minutes for this month and he had already used the 500 available minutes. I took his phone to see who was calling it since I didn't reconize any of the numbers that was on the bill. So far in a week there have been two women to call the phone. I talked to both of them and one said that he had called her wanting to meet her. That he met her on a chat line. When I asked him about it he denied it. He always has. I don't know what to do anymore. I am tired of it all. But I love him and want our marriage to work. I don't want to put my kids through a divorce but I don't want to live like this either. I have done everything that I can to be a good wife but it just keeps backfiring on me. I don't know if he is meeting with any of these women or not. I don't know what to do anymore. I keep thinking what we could be and that it could be worse.

I'm sorry you have to be here. Click on the link in my signature line for more information on tools you can use to try to restore your marriage.

Take my first piece of advice with a grain of salt and pray about whether or not it is right for you- but the first thing I'd do is *cut off* that phone!

Then I'd insist on his attending counseling with me, and I'd have the counselor help confront him about his behavior - that it really is a form of cheating and infidelity, whether he sees these girls in person or not. Is it possible he has a compulsive problem? Here is an online quiz that you might be able to get him to take

http://www.sex-centre.com/SexualCompulsivity/SexualCompulsionQuiz.htm

It is about internet sex addiction I think, but it is realtive to these phone chats (the same thing I would think.)

I am wishing you the best and sorry that you're dealing with this.

Well a week later and I see that I can't spell. But I confronted him about the whole situation and of course he denied it all. These calls show up on his cell phone and the home phone and the only thing he ever says about them is that he didn't do it. I guess he thinks that I am stupid. I don't understand why he keeps doing this and why he has to lie about it. If anyone can explain this to me please do. And after doing all of this he tells me how much he loves me. How can you love someone and act like this? I just don't understand and don't know what to do.