I got a letter today. <P>Diana<BR>It is important for to let you know my feeling about you or Jackise have not changed. I intend to stay here in Enid and with Jackie.<P>I will still take care of the utility payments and one half of the house payment until the house is sold.<P>Diana you and Patrick are still covered under my insurance for as long as necessary. You and Patrick should go to the dentis.<P>Diana you need to carry on with yourself. I still want a divorce and as soon as possible I will file.<P>Sincerely<BR>Jim<P>I can't see him Tuesday at the doctor's. I can't stop the tears. Why is he doing this didn't know that to see me was to give me hope. I can't take anymore of this pain. <P>I ask Patrick who he wanted at the doctor's. I guess I will have Jennifer call him and tell him not to come. I guess I need to go to plan b and write that letter today. I didn't think I could hurt anymore.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

di -- I am so very sorry about this. Just after you give of yourself to help me you get this dropped in your lap. Maybe it <B>is</B> time for you to take the advice you gave me about Plan B. The selfishness of some of the betrayers astounds me. The fog of fantasy is so great that he cannot see how badly he is hurting you.<P>I know the feeling of not believing you can be hurt anymore and along comes another dose. If you can pour out your pain, maybe it will ease.<P>I'm here for you if you need me....<P><BR>--DeWayne--

Diana,<P>I just sent you an Email. I forgot to mention- make sure you hold on to that letter. It may come in handy if you do wind up divorced. Hang, tough, Diana. I'll be here all night, if you need me.

Nice Christmas present he sent there - what an idiot! Okay, that's the only mean thing I'll say about the man you love.<P>Your H is in so deep, and it's so sad, and I really, really feel for you!<P>Please take good care of yourself and your son... and with that in mind, I agree with Sid, keep that letter!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.<P>~John Lennon

I know from experience that there are fews things worse to hear (or read) than "I want a divorce". I think they view it as a way to make what they are doing somehow legitimate. The day of discovery my H said that his seeing the OW was ok, since he was "planning on divorce" and he filed the next day. I think it is the only way they can see to avoid thinking of themselves as horribly immoral and wrong, and seems to be so common in MLC. <P>I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

OH, Di. I am so sorry. I can't believe he did this now.<P>Please take care of yourself. Hang on through this heartache.<P>I'm crying for you. I don't know what else to say.<P>Love,<P>Lori

I have been talking for the past hour to my mil and sil. I told them about the letter. They had thought things were improving that he was begining to do some thinking especially since he want to go to the doctors with us. They had planned to have a dinner the 26th when H and S adnd sil's son would be there and were planning to invite me. Of course sil told me about her birthday card from H he had signed his name and ow's. Can you believe that. (THat was on the 7th) D. has a birthday card and CHristmas card from him she is not here so I don't know how he signed that. I think D wants me to quit hoping and move on. I think she has given up on him. She still loves him and will not allow ow in her house. <P>I am rambling, I guess I am shock. BUt remembering all the things I have read here, I guess I am not suprised about what he is doing the mixed signals. <BR><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hi SDS -<P>Gosh, I am so sorry......<P>What a horrible thing to do....<P>It doesn't make sense.....he shows no contact or interest.....then starts contact with his folks, the kids and now you ----- only to turn around and throw this crap out!!!<P>Just a thought....but maybe OW didn't like the idea of him spending ANY time with you and gave some ultimatum or something.....hence the letter!!<P>Whether she did or didn't - his behavior is certainly eratic!!!<P>Fits in with a lot of others we've heard about here.....doesn't mean the end!!!<P>OK, now is your time to shine..<BR>..although the last thing you feel is self-assured and in control of your life!!! We will help you!!!<P>I think that it would be wise to send a Plan B letter and tell him not to come to the Dr's if that is what your son and you want......he has no right to put you and S through this emotional rollercoaster via such a serious and emotional enough ordeal of your son's physical health and future!!!<P>Let him save his dramatics for a simpler situation and be a man and come directly to you!!! Your life is not something to be put on display for the office staff and other patients to be made party to!!<P>Shame on him....what a coward for not facing you!!!<P>I'm sorry Di....I am just so angry at the blatent self-absorbtion of these guys sometimes!!!<P>YOU are a strong woman who is doing all that is right and good for her children, herself and even for her H.....DO NOT LET HIM CRUSH THAT!!!! You have gotten this far and you will get through whatever lays ahead!!!<P>I hope that the OW did push him into this......let her keep pushing!!!<P>He is wrong.....all see it and he will too, eventually!!!<P>We Love Ya!!!!!<P>BIG HUGS, STRENGTH AND PRAYERS,<P>Sheba

DeWayne, I sent you an email this afternoon. Thanks for being there.<P>Sidney, Just sent you a long email just a few minutes ago. Took for ever to write Babies keep interupting.<P>NB, You can't say anything worse then what I have been calling today. Learned that I knew a few word that I thought wasn't in my vocabulary.<P>I knocked some things off and pick them up The letter was one of those things. I just noticed that the envelope that the letter was sent in was addressed by HER tHE B***H <P>He know I know her hand writing. WHY???????<BR>It almost makes me think she stood over him and told him what to write. AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!<P>Nellie, There is no sense to anything they do when they are in this state.<P>Lori, Thanks, We sure have shed a lot of tears lately. How are things going with you?<P>Sheba, If I possibly can I think I am going to try to met him at the doc's. None of this make sense. Especially after finding out who addresses the envelope. Can you believe it? <P>I got the impression that her desires for him had started declining until I found out. Then all of a sudden she was "in love" with him. Now he started making contact with everyone and I sent him some interesting letters that more or less said I was still interested after no real contact for three months. Then this, but he still wants to see me at the doctor's? Maybe I am trying to read something into nothing.<BR>I hope this make sense since I am typing one handed while I hold the baby with the other. So I'll Stop for now and will post later.<P><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

{{{{{{{{{{<B>di</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I'm so sorry for you...<P>I try almost never to recommend divorce...<BR>and to spend the week before Christmas looking for an attorney is crazy!<P>If you remember, Cheryl(ceecee) needed a new lawyer, and I tried to give her a hand...<BR>so I went to my lawyers search site and found her a list of 8 "good" attorneys...<P>I don't suggest that you file first...<BR>I know you don't want one...<BR>Forcing it is a huge love buster...<P>but...<P>To protect yourself... so you <B>can do</B> the Plan B... have the financial support to go through with it (you know you'll have the emotional support <B>right here</B> )... I'd offer to find a list for you too.<P>The worse thing you can do is...<BR><B>first</B>... nothing...<BR><B>second</B>... just look in the yellow pages...<BR>(My W did this... got the one with the biggest "divorce" add... and boy... is he a bozo {no offense Deb})<P>You probably don't even want to consider doing this now... but if you think Jim is serious... just e-mail me imherczeg@yahoo.com the state and "county" you live in... I'll e-mail you back a list. (Don't show anyone the list... especally if it could make it back to JIM!)<P>Plan B... means protecting your love for Jim... let a good attorney do the "bad" communications with him... lt is part of the consequences of his decision... and he will have to be supported by the OW...<P>I know all this "legal" stuff is <B>not</B> what you want to hear about now... Maybe put it out of your mind for a day or two... let me do a little leg work for a good friend. <P>Prayers and a lit candle. <P>NSR (sorry my name is Jim too... if you want to call me by my real name... Imre)

Diana,<P>I am shocked and saddened by this <P>I can't believe SHE addressed the envelope!!! How crass <P>I don't even know what to say except that \i am praying Very HARD for you tonight!!!<P>I will e-mail you later when I get back.<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

SDS,<BR>I am very sorry, there is nothing I can say really I know. The only one that can make it better won't. You will be ok, I promise.<P>I wish I could say something that would help but I'm not even sure; I have mixed feelings. <P>But we are all here for you, know that.<P>Genie

Sorry, di - I guess were are in the same place right now. I got an e-mail today telling me that H would bring the 'papers' by next week. Merry Christmas - whatever. I'll pray for you. Try to be strong.