I just found out that my husband was unfaithful. I went to the doctors for cancer treatment and found out that I have HPV-16. I was devastated Me and my husband have been together for 12 years I have always been faithful. When he got home that night I confronted him> He then told me he has been with 4 different women in the past 3 years. They were unprotected. I asked him why he said he did not love me at the time????? I am devastated. I trusted him so much and loved him even more. I am scared and I feel so alone. Everyone tells me to leave him I am too scared to leave. Can our marriage be saved? Will I ever stop crying? Help!!! I never knew I could feel so many different emotions! I hate him I love him It makes me sick just to think of him. My insurance does not cover marriage counceling. I am lost HELP!!!!!!!! PLEASE

<small>[ September 11, 2003, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Lillian Lee ]</small>

Hi Lillian....welcome to MB, we'll do our best to help you through this. Yes, there is hope.

What was his attitude when he confessed? How is he acting now? Have the two of you discussed a plan? Does he want to try and save the Marriage? Do you have children? Please send us more background information on you, your husband and your Marriage. The more information we have the more we'll be able to try and help you.

If your H is willing to go to counseling you can call the Harley's..they do phone counseling and they take credit cards. When we counseled with them I think it was $185 a session, sounds like alot but hard to put a price tag on your M.

I would also suggest going to see your family doctor, it's important to take care of yourself in this type of crisis...I didn't and after 3 months I collapsed. I do not like asking for help nor have I ever taken any type of psychiatric medicine but after collapsing I did...Zoloft and mild tranquilzers for a few days until the Zoloft kicked in. Hard to try and save your marriage if you don't eat or sleep..after awhile of no sleeping no eating and going crazy with pain...it's hard to make any good decisions or to even have rational conversations.

Read everything on this site and go to the book store right away and buy Surviving and Affair by Willard Harley and Torn Asunder by Dave Carder...there are other good books out there but these are good starters.

Hang in there...it will get better!

I am sorry to hear of your pain. This is a great place for you to be. The folks here on MB will be there to help as best they can. Remeber you are stronger than you think! And it feels like hell now but that will change...not right away but it will.

I just found out my WH has had 3 affiars since we were together (2years, married nearly one). I am in a lot of pain myself my feeling are back and forth and now so are his and he wants to leave me! Can you imagine...LEAVE me after what HE has done.

But I am getting through each day one by one and so can you.

Best of luck and I am here is you need to talk.

BH

Dear Lillian Lee,
I'm sorry about your situation. I was pregnant eleven years ago, and went in for a routine check up, was I thought was a bad yeast infection turned out to be the same. He claims to this day, that it was something he had gotten in the service and was treated for it. We had intimate moments long before I got it and wondered all these years, is there any way to prove this?

Click on the link in my sig line