After several long months of discussion with my wife about our marital issues, I began to suspect she was having an affair. The first discussion of our issues began in April when she let me know she was questioning her continuation in our relationship due to a number of factors (the usual lack of respect, family issues, she does not think she wants kids, she has changed,etc.). While we were talking, I asked if there was another man and she shook her head "no". I suggested seeing a counselor which she would not agree to (we have different opinions on the subject according to her). She controls the cell phone bills and I began to review them late in the summer and noticed an incredible (almost daily) calls to an out of state co-worker that began in February after she returned from a business trip. This man is married and there is a need for my wife to discuss work with him but I cannot believe that she would be on the phone at 9PM at night for over 2 hours; or once at 2AM. Or every day up to 8-10 times a day for that matte-I am talking several hundred cell phone calls! Most of the calls are during the day when I am at work or when she is out of town on work trips.
A little background, my wife earns quite a large salary and travels alot for business, is 35.5 and attactive. We just celebrated a wonderful 9th anniversary with a long romantic weekend out of town trip.
However, I discovered a few business related "thank-you" cards in her travel bag about 3 weeks ago along with divorce papers she originally printed out over Labor Day weekend. Amongst these documents, however, was a piece of stationery with a romantic note written on it by this guy. There was also an email itinerary from him to her (she went to NYC end of July for work and she must have met up with him for the same work meeting according to his flight schedule on this email). All along this summer she indicated she needed more time to figure out what she wanted to do which just dumbfounded me and led me to conclude about the possible affair.
My wife returned 4 weeks ago from a business trip prior to which we had a big talk. I led on "don't think I am an idiot and do not know what's going on around here" and "if you think it's greener on the other side of the hill that's for you to find out". That talk went pretty well and things have greatly improved since her return from this trip (physically) and we are talking little love quotes and stuff but we haven't really talked about each other and our relationship or where it's going, the problems discussed in the past, etc. She now is leaving me itineraries of where she is going/staying which is a big change and calling me every evening when she is not here. However, the guy just recently sent a fed ex package to our house and I discovered another romantic card sent to her which she placed back in the same bag with the other cards/papers which she still has. (something like "no one has ever touched my heart until I met you" and he signs it "you make me very happy, love"
We just returned from the above mentioned trip(romantic weekend out of town) where we had a blast together. Now I am wondering if she has broken this off? Will she come clean with me if I discuss this with her or react incredibly upset? Should I bring it up at all and jeopardize the improved situation we seem to currently have? She has numerous other work trips coming up and I know this guy will be at one of them. Suspicions are running high. Thanks for any advice.
