Ok I called the OW husband and we met
sat and cried and talked about two hrs.
He asked if it was OK to tell OW we talked I said fine.

They talked OW got with my H before workday ends
and he comes home after 8:00 pm

MAdder then a wet hen screaming at me and hollering

The OW Husband added things I didn't say.
Also told her to hurry home cause he seen my truck and I had a gun was looking for her.

The only thing got me out was H called me at 7:30 and said where he was and where am I
at home with my 19 yr D. They are in a another town so H knew he was lieing he just got off the phone with me and they are 45 minutes away.

Anyway about a hr long arguement and H says he knew I wasn't lying.
Then he stands in front of me and calls her to make sure she is OK ?????? WTF
and to tell her that her H is lying.

They kinda get into it of whos spouse is lying
Anyway this was a SLAP in my face

Then daughter in law wanted to know what was so great about this OW that he couldn't leave her.
I was out of the room he thought in a different part of the house.
Anyway I heard it all and it woke me up .

Now my plan B - part
I took my purse and keys and left.
H didn't miss me till about hr later.
calls I told him I had enough and was leaving him.I was moving to another state with some of his kin.

He went CRAZY - CRAZY
I was walking out on my kids and everything how could I ( he did it and was planning on doing it)

I stayed gone 2 days didn't make it to MS
I left with no cloths - coat nothing.
Hundreds of phone calls from him.

I came home to pack and move
had all the check books on table with what to do with everything.
wrote out how to take care of the two business's
and everything.

Now my H has not wrote a check in 26 yrs
never paid a bill at home or business's
never made a deposit at the bank to any of the
four accounts.

He didn't go to work just kept pleading with me what do I want he will do anything.

I wanted a meeting with him and his OW and he end it for good in front of me.
He complained but did it.

She wouldn't come out of the house
said scared of me.
I told him she sure trusted him to protect her
he kept pleading with her - Nope.

So he told her on the phone I could hear both sides sitting in her yard.

This was the FIRST time he ever told her
that they would NEVER talk and SEE each other again. And that he was going to make our marriage work. (I still wanted to see her face)

Anyway last night her H calls the house and talks with my H.
And goes over all the no contact and never come around her and everything they talked about.

My H told him they spoke earlier and broke everything off and going their separate ways.

So I have put my foot down
If I ever even get a smell of any kind of a affair or them even contacting each other
I am moving out and that it.
And I will never speak to him again ever.

See I figured it out
He was willing to leave oh ya
no bills no obligations free
Having a good time free and clear. Nothing to worry about.
But then when I am leaving and he will have everything OH NO the end of the world.

So that is my plan
If my marriage doesn't work because he isn't
trying (cause I am doing everything)And he doesn't want it to work . I am gone.

He was sure huggy and all lovey dovey with me last night. Just like a honeymoon.

Shoot my daughter even cleaned the house while I was gone. Miracles happen every day.

It is always better to go from a position of power. Get your ducks in a row, stash some cash and be strong. I even met with an attorney because it was not going to be a threesome for me. It is either the two of us or I was out of there as painful as it was.

He's going nowhere, reality has just crashed in. You were meeting needs he didn't know he had, good for you. You are not a doormat. Hugs-Jersey Girl

Well found out today that the cousin I was gonna
go and stay with has moved to FL.

HEE HAW I love the beach and H knows it.

I don't know how this is gonna play out
I just know H isn't gonna have us both.
And he ain't leaving I am and that is for sure if he doesn't choose our marriage.

He keeps saying he has choosen me
and he wants me to stay for sure.

But he has lied so much I can't see anything but lies .

I think I will stay and see what his actions are for a while . And if not I can always go.

What do you all THINK ??????? PLEASE tell me

Do you think your H is having a MLC? He might need some talk therapy if he is depressed.

Your reaction was like mine in many ways.

I refused to be dragged into an affair and remain a helpless bystander... waiting for him to make a decision. I made immediate boundaries, and H immediately went NC, and he confessed to OW's husband (his friend from childhood).

I think the reason this worked for me (and you) is that we had a track record of being good wives.

My sweet man has been the best H ever .... going on 8 years of recovery this coming December. I love him to pieces.

Pep

Pepper YES I believe he is
he has all the signs
he sweats for no reasons he has mood swings.
He gets depressed.

But he is a good ole boy there is no such thing
he says . I know and my doctor has even said he thinks it also.

That is why I am so determined to get tru this.

And thank you so much for the success story of yours I needed that.

He came home last night and asked if we could talk.
I omost fell out he asked first this time.

We cuddled and talked for hrs.
He seems to need more cuddling and hugging then normal lately. So I give him all he wants.

Seems he and his OW talked alot about me and our marriage. He always said he loved me.

How can a OW be happy with a married man that still loves his wife ??

Her husband sent her to the other house five hrs away to her grown kids (HOPE FOREVER)

I do think my talk with her husband made this thing take a turn . He knew about them but seemed to be quiet.

Not me he really got a ear full after talking to me for a couple of hrs.

I think it will take time but I could of never had done this if not for this WONDERFUL board.

I filled his love banks up to the top for four mts and he knows it. And that is why he wants me and our marriage .

And I made sure he knows for sure if he has any contact with her I am out of here. No doubts about it none. No crying no talking no begging
I will flat out leave.

He is REALLY in shock about that.
He never thought I would leave my home and business's and kids.

He knows now said he never hurted as bad as when I left him the other night.
So maybe I am starting to get him clear of the fog .

PLEASE anyone what do you all think ????