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#444925 03/11/04 08:35 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
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Tonight we are going to see the Therapist for the second time. WH says he is going with an open mind and looking forward to it. But yet he still claims he does not love me anymore. That is the hardest thing to accept, is that he says he doesn't love me and he doesn't think he will ever love me again. It is not the affair at this point, it is that.

I just dont understand what OW has that I dont have. I know I am much more attractive all around than she is cuz people have told me that. I am doing everything I can to show him my love for him and to help him find his way back to me.

My question today...Do you think if he didn't love me he would kiss me passsionately, hold me in his arms for hours on end, hold my hand in public (even if I initiate it) kiss me in public, say he "loves me" back, call me, call me "honey", hug me non stop...All these things say "love" to me...but what do you all think? He says he feels a void right now from me. What else can I do?

What should I discuss with the counslor tonight? any advice on this? TIA once again!

Joined: Feb 2004
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im sorry your here, hopefully getting your post back to the top will get some good help from some of the old timers.....
the "FOG" is sometimes very thick and its hard to see thru it, hopefuly in time he will in time recover what he feels what he says to you when he holds your hand , good luck my prayers are with you
cliff

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Hi Mt3B,
I'm short on time, but see if these help:
How to know a spouse is in love with you...

When should you tell your spouse we have a problem

This one is for your H. Give him hope that things can get better. I wish you luck tonight! - Dru

Joined: Jul 2000
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My H felt like he had fallen out of love with me - and could not tell me he loved me for two years!!!! YET - our sex life had improved and we were really communicating...he just couldn't tell me he loved me. He really struggled with falling in love with someone else and out of love with me...

FFWD to now - we are so IN LOVE we are sickening...but it took time time time and lots effort and a few silent and hidden tears on my part.

DON'T PUSH FOR THE I LOVE YOU's from him. Counselling is a good first step and Plan A your butt off...but don't press him about being in love. He needs to resolve a lot of stuff within himself is what I'm thinking...support him, allow him to support you.

Joined: Aug 2003
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You sound like me! Every night I keep praying please let him tell me he loves me, when everything he does indicates it, but he won't say it. Very frustrating, I just keep coming to the site to keep focused on the ultimate goal. Like my priest says you want to win the war not just a battle. Hang in there sounds goofy, but what else can we really do for now except give it our best. Just remember you're not alone out there, even though there's time you probably feel that way.


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