Was putting my son to bed tonite and he told me he isn't going to FL with his mother and om in Jan(yea !!!!!!!!) HE said they would probably go some other time and go to Disney World. My daughter confirmed this!!!!!!<P>The bad news is that my son said om snores real loud and woke him up. I asked where he(my son) slept and he said and he said in his moms bed. I then stupidly asked where his mother slept and he said with om(duh!). So now I don't know (and didn't ask)if om was around last nite or if he came in from work and went to bed.<P>I don't know what I was thinking, I guess I thought she wouldn't want her kids to know she was sleeping with a married man while she was still married to me. I guess I should be glad that she only takes the kids once a week!!!!<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<BR>

Bob,<P>I'm sorry for you...<P>Knowing your kids have to be so close to that which is killing you...<P>The good new is good...<P>The bad news we can't do anything about...<P>I know I have to listen to my own advice... my rant/vent tonight are over things I cannot control ('doormat' syndrome or not) more or less.<P>I'm praying NOW for you...<BR>I'm not going to wait 'til later!!! <P>Bob... you're loved... <P>Jim

Jim, <BR>Thanks. I know what you are going through as I went thru all that in the summer. I screamed and shouted at my EW for weeks about her having the kids around other man and it finally sunk in. SO she has been doing somewhat of a better job, but the guy lives there so there isn't anything I can do at this late date. I waonder if it will change any once we are divorced. I guess it will in her mind.<P>Maybe it time for you to lovebust and show her you mean business and inforce the restraining order. What she going to do, divorce you? Maybe that will scare off om. I don't know what else to tell you. Trying to reason with them is impossible at this point. My ew kept saying everything she was doing was legal. When I pointed out moral issues, she said I was making judgements.<P>It may be legal in Ohio, but I heard adultery is a criminal offense iin AZ. Some woman just lost custody of her kids because she was shacked up with some guy while separated from her husband.<P><BR>I'll keep you in my prayers, Jim !<P>God Bless,<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<BR>

Glad for the good news.<P>Want some kind of cure for the insanity some of these spouses are showing lately!<P>Hang in there, ok?<P>Lori

Gosh, maybe we should all move to AZ. My soon to be Ex just laughs at me and says....Do you think any Judge wants to hear about how many women I have F------? It's not illegal you know........Makes you kind of sick. Don't judges and courts care about morals and values. I know I do. It always amazes me how he wants custody of the girls. I would love to see him try to help one of the girls when they get a boyfriend and then come home crying that he cheated on her. What kind of advise could he give them? What could he say to ease their pain? He had no clue how to ease mine and ran when the going got tuff. I would love to be fly on the wall when that happens.....<BR>Nancy

It doesn't matter if it is illegal. Adultery is illegal in my state, yet the attorneys I talked to said that courts don't take "morality" into account. <P>I have gotten the impression from what I have read that morality only makes a difference if the custodial parent is doing something immoral - the non-custodial parent can do anything they d*** well please, and as long as it doesn't include sexual or physical abuse of a child, they have a "right" to visitation on their terms. <P>I actually read in one book that there is a "thin line between being separated and being divorced." Yeah, right. There is a thin line between being dead and alive, too, but that line makes all the difference in the world.

OH HOW TRUE......THE ABOVE SAYS IT ALL...NANCY