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Although my H & I wrote the "No Contact" Letter to OW about a month ago, I'm so fearful that my H might contact OW. He hasn't been acting suspiciously, but since I still don't trust him, I am so nervous about this.<P>Her recent e-mail contact after a 9 month absence, and my H responding to her, really threw me in for a cloud of uncertainty.<P>I keep thinking he's going to buy her a gift, send her a card, e-mail her from a secret e-mail account, etc. etc. etc. I think I'm getting paranoid.<P>He hasn't shown any signs of suspicious activity, but he has become such an expert liar (since his affair), that I just can't trust him.<P>I am hoping that I'm not wasting my time with him. I don't want to be made a fool and betrayed again. It really scares me.<P>I think I'm going to have an anxiety attack before this year is over.
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Joined: Sep 1999
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NoTrust,<P>Try and let go for the holidays...<P>Easier said than done...<BR>Boy... do I know that... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) <P>But put your mind on the 'better' things of the holidays...<P>Maybe a little prayer... a few times during the day...<P>Jim
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Joined: Jul 1999
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We'll all be praying for you.<P>But, like Jim said, let go and just enjoy the holidays with your husband. You never know. Having a wonderful holiday with you may completely take his mind off of anything except having many, many more of the same.<P>Hang in there.<P>Lori
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Joined: May 1999
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No trust,<P>Those two wise people who posted first gave you some really good advise. So enjoy.<P>I know that it is hard. After 10 months I still have fears like yours. I just have to look forward and pray, trust in God and have faith. When I start to slip I come here and cry out for support and I get it.<P>Like they said Relax, enjoy the moment that your in. Don't look back and don't look forward. Just enjoy these next few days and cuddle close to that husband of yours. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>So Merry Christmas! Happy New Year too!<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<P>
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Joined: Apr 1999
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Thank you everyone. I'll try my best to enjoy this holiday and not obssess about OW. I hope I can deposit enough Love Units that my H will never ever think of OW again.
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Joined: Aug 1999
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Here's a Xanax for that anxiety attack, hon!! <P>I'll be praying too...<P>Love ya, Sheryl
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No Trust,<P>Keep the faith. If he hasn't done anything to act suspicious, maybe he is innocent?????I am praying that this is the first of amny more wonderful Christases for you and your H!!!! <P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>
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Joined: Apr 1999
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NB & RMA: You two are terrific. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you...
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NO Trust,<BR>The question you might ask yourself is: is he going out of his way to try to earn your trust back??? By this I mean, letting you know his schedule and where he is at all times (maybe having a cell phone only YOU use), showing you ways in which he lied so that he can't use those again, closing accounts you know only they used, etc.-- He should be showing his best at EARNING your trust. THEN you would know he is actively trying and behaving himself. My H did these things and along with showing his remorse repeatedly, I feel really good about staying together <P>Best wishes!
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Joined: Nov 1999
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No Trust,<P>Try to enjoy the holidays as much as possible. Try spending all leisure time with H. If he's not acting suspicious, then give him the benefit of the doubt.<P>If you think that your H is truly trying to make amends, then you owe it to yourself and your marriage to try along with him.<P>Trust is something that your H has to earn. This will take some time, believe me. I'm going through the motions myself.<P>Have a great holiday, and I'll keep you in my prayers.<BR>
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