today i just found out that my partner is cheating on m e. We have been together to and a half years. We live in a home that has been owned by me for the past 10 years .

I was looking through his computer for something and i came across a strange email address since he told me he has nothing to hide on there i thought i would take a look. I copy it here

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hi darlin
u asked me a question
as u know i have trouble puttin into words wot i want to say sometimes
well im gonna try hun
y you
because i fancied u almost from the first time i saw u
u made me smile and laugh
something i didnt do very often
u make me feel like a real person instead of just bein the kids mum
when the kids spoke to u
u listened to them instead of ignorin them or brushin them aside
u dont put me down like most others
and after a while i started to wonder wot it would be like to have ur arms round me (now i know)
but i wasnt sure sure if u meant some of the things u had said
and i couldnt be that close to u any more and not find out
so i kissed u
i hadnt planned to do it
i just did it
and was shocked when u kissed me back
and the day u put ur arms round me
well
all i wanted to do then was take u to bed
and the rest u know
tc darlin

THIS IS FROM HER TO HIM

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THIS IS HIS RESPONSE TO IT

Hi Karen
Thanks for the answer now its my turn

just as hard for me as it is for you I'm not much good at this
i think thats why we kiss so much then we don't have to talk

well the same as you i quite liked you from almost the first the first time we met
but i moved over here to be with Liz my and for the last 21/2 yrs have been working at building a good relationship together
(its good but nothing is perfect)

found i was looking forward to when you came out to pay me and sometimes i would go past hoping you would come out
as i liked you quite a lot by this time but was not looking to start an affair
one day you invited me in to see your videos wanted to put my arms round you then when i left i could not stop thinking about you
then when you kissed me i was shocked but kissed you back as i had wanted to do that for ages it felt natural
after i did not see you for a couple of weeks thought you must have been embarrassed or something
i was still not looking to start an affair just new i liked you a lot
then we were playing on at the door you said you wee tired and was going back to bed i said something like if i wasnt working id join you and you invited me to your bed anytime
still not knowing what to think went on my way
friday came and i thought id come and see for a chat you but changed my mind at the door was just about to walk away when you opened the door
the rest you know
hope this makes sense to you as im still very confused but know how much i like you

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IT HAS OBVIOUSLY Moved into the affair mode now. I have managed to get this ladies email address and her snails mail address.

What do i do??? How do i handle it??? He was the world to me and its just crumbling away at the moment. I dont even know what to say to him when he comes in tonight. DO i acted like i dont know and then go to this sluts place and knock her lights out??

Please give me some advice

Liz

Liz,
Good Good Good for you for coming here FIRST before reacting. Smart SMART move on your part !!

Okay..you have enough evidence. It sounds like he knows this isn't the right thing to do...THAT is on your side. He is already confused, and has tried to walk away...many WS don't get to that point so early on.

Read here on Plan A and Plan B.

When you're ready to confront him with the evidence, have a solution to the problem. If you confront him with the idea of he broke it and now he has to fix it, he may feel overwhelmed. He hasn' a clue. His emotions are all Foggy right now.

What do YOU want to accomplish ?

Keep posting....have you confronted him at all yet ?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i quite liked you from almost the first the first time we met
but i moved over here to be with Liz my and for the last 21/2 yrs have been working at building a good relationship together
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That statement is so loud and clear. He's told her of his intentions. He got swept up in something, and she's luring him in deeper. It appears he is the rescuer here.

Don't wait too long to move on this. He's speaking of LIKE...not LOVE...and we want to close the gate now before that horse is long gone.

You have an excellent chance of landing in recovery from this and building a better, stronger, relationship.

Hang in there Liz.