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#450866 09/11/04 11:57 AM
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 5
S
Junior Member
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S Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 5
Hello, I have lurked here off and on for a while. I posted under Penchant for Prostitutes, but no replies- very old thread. Are there any spouses hanging out here any longer? I would love to here from others in this situation. Be back soon, have an errand to run.

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
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B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Splendor -

Welcome to marriagebuilders. Sorry I missed you first thread. You might try posting on general questions as weekends are slow.

Also you can just keep posting to your own thread. Sooner or later someone will answer.

I take it that your husband likes prostitutes. Yikes! Please give more details.

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 5
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 5
Hello, and thanks for the reply. I have been married 22 years to what I thought was the perfect husband and marriage. It IS my second marriage. I was married very young and had 2 children from my first marriage. The children were young when we married, and love, and consider him their Dad. He has always been a good Father (although was working much of the time) and a good husband. He was loving, considerate and really everything I wanted. Money has always been tight. In the spring of 2002, I asked him if taxes were done, I was not happy (the ONE thing that I did get angry at him for-fileing extensions on taxes). He Blew up! He never in all that time had gotten truely angry at me during our marriage (although I am sure I gave him reasons at times). He said I was always accusing him of other women. Lie. I rarely questioned him about anything, I trusted him so much. Well, this started suspicion, his reponse. I started checking up on him. My daughter said that we should have lots more money than I thought. I put spyware on his computer- and lo and behold-it was porn, porn, porn. I was devastated. I never saw him with porn during 20 years! He never talked that way-just nothing. It started then, me questioning ect. I felt there was more, but nothing to base it on. I think God was involved. He denied anything else. 10 months later (I felt I was going to die, from not eating or sleeping) he confessed to buying porn a limited amount of times, going to massage parlors for hand jobs and blow jobs, going to strip clubs. Yikes! Not the man I thought I knew. Since then, there have been minor disclosures- (except for the fact that he did have intercourse with one massage girl- says he never wanted it-she got on HIm) I did have him take a polygraph in Dec. last year- he flunked on the "are you lying about hiding assets or debits from your wife" question. I still don't trust him much. I have all his work receipts, and there are numerous calls that he can not explain, on his cell phone.

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 94
J
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Member
J Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 94
I know all about the secret life.

In in July I discover my W having an EA.

I forgave her but something still was not right.
I followed more bread crumbs and discovered 5
PA this Year. One of them has lasted for 10 years.
We have only been together 9 1/2 years.

I was completely in the dark about everything.

It is clear to my that the affairs had little to
do with me or our problems. She enjoys sex with
new people and without any commitment. Most of
them have been with married men.

I also am aware that I know of only some of the
affairs and she told a friend she thinks
it would be impossiable to ever be only with me.

I have started the process of preparing for
a divorce. I don't want to but I will not go
down this road again. She will either have to
seek out counseling for her addiction and agree
to MC or I will end this marriage.


Moderated by  Fordude 

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