Worthatry: Please read about the OW previously posted. She does know. She is the reason I know. I have a home-business and sent a blanket email out announcing I was on a badly needed vacation with my hubby, be back soon. One, two or three or more of my clients know her. They obviously know about her and more about me than I even know. It is my belief that this is what happened: She went ballistic. Tuesday evening H got very sick. Said he thought it may be food poisoning, and was in and out of our room “getting air” several times in the night. (Of course I know now that he was trying to do damage control – he told me Thursday that she threatened to shoot herself, so far I can only presume what is real). I do believe that she is mainly a hapless victim like me; the exception is I believe SHE knew US before knowing HIM.

H’s Attitude: During the CTL he remained humble, no defiance. He said “I have destroyed 3 lives” “how could I have done this to us?” “I will tell you EVERYTHING; I will not lie to you”. I think he is genuinely sorry, don’t know if it is because he has hurt me or because it is out. He is a habitual liar.

Home Situation: Purchased home 6/01 jointly.

I am 43 years young. I CAN be financially self sufficient. At present I have given up my FT job, in preparation for having children. H and I just went through a foster-adopt program and are on our way to get our license. We have gone through infertility programs 2000 and were really close in 2002 to adopting 2 separate babies BD of 6/02 and 12/02. (I have just had a revealing moment: he states that he started seeing her around 8/02). I started my home business 8/01, Quit FT job 12/03 for a few reasons – he was spending quite a bit of money on his motorcycle, which I felt that is where my paychecks were going, the office environment I was in was awful (at this point, I may or may not be right about that, it may have been my home life that was in shambles – I just did not know it), I was doing my home business at night & weekends, I was tired. Started waiting tables – short lunch shifts to supplement income and free up my time to build my business.

I don’t know that he doesn’t have a child with her…THAT would probably push me over completely. She does have a son around 3 or 4. I think there are more kids, but they are not with her. Reasons unknown, to date.

His family: His mother is my director in my home business. I AM one of her 4 daughters, we travel, share rooms and beds together. It is a great relationship and at times I feel closer to his family than the one I grew up in. His dad loves me as a daughter as well. We have built an incredible relationship. His 3 sisters are all very kind, gentle, spiritual women – there husbands the same. One has 3 boys, another has a son and a new daughter, the other was recently married. Grandparents on both sides are very spiritual and I have been blessed over the years to have gotten to know them and learn from them. His mom and dad are also very spiritual. They really raised their children in the right manner. I guess everyone gets a black sheep?

I told one of my 2 sisters and my parents the story last night. I intend to talk to his parents today sometime, if possible.