P I,<p>Hey, I envy you for having Orchid on the house call .... LOL !!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . I never met Orchid but God Bless her heart, she help me too via phone. I am glad you see the point of plan A. Yes, if you let WS alone, they will have to stare their A at point blank !. WS makes them self a fool !. My 2 D coaches told me to have the 2 D on my watch and switch the visitation days if there is a contest !. They are also told my WS this morning too. My oldest missed two events since she was coming very late to the Memorial Day competition !. The funny part of it she blamed it on me. LOL !!!. I called her to let her know that she would be late if she was not going at that moment. However she was still late. I didn't do plan B, she did .... she rejected my plan A a long time ago.<p>Anyway, I have a great time at the Carnival ... see my post to SeaHorse. [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] . You live in the bayarea, you know what Carnival looks like ... you may even see me buzzing in and out of the parade on tv. I hope I don't start having MLC [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] !.<p>The best thing that you could help your D is showing that this is not normal situation but you will survive and you will be happy again. I help my 2D by being strong and show them that thing is hard for all of us but we will survive this and we will be happy family again w/ or w/o WS. My 2D moved to acceptance very quick because of that and know that someone watching their best interest !. However in her thickest fog, she thought that they accept her A !!!, little that she know about our dinner table conversations, their views on her behaviors ... I just listened to my little angels, sometime I have to swallow my tears.<p>Again w/ your D, keep most of her schedule the same and if you have to change it is because it is good for her and she enjoys it [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . Stability is the main issue. Have you attend kid in the middle ?, it is very good breif program but you could join parenting class that they offer. If you lived close to San Bruno, my church has a very excelent program and staff to help out.<p>Hang in there ... Fog will be lifted, just a matter of time, ... just see the GG Bridge, even the thickest fog will be gone and replace w/ sunshine. Hope WS will be there to enjoy it. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I found the link to the website. You might see me holding camera in the middle of the street [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>[ May 28, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Hey PI, good to hear that the 2 of you got together with Orchid, I wish I lived closer to you, I would so love to have an evening just to talk! I have been wanting to email you, does he know, that you know, that the A is still ongoing?
I sure feel his need to open up. I hope he will do so with you soon. AS much as the OW is an issue, he has other issues that he needs to air, just from his email alone, he is hurting. He is definately going about working on it in the wrong way (ie the OW), but he is in pain, even though he is inflicting pain on you, he needs to be heard.
Pray about how to deal with this. You are his wife, listen to him, even though it's about him, he needs to know that you will be there to listen.
If you are coming back at him with your own pain, he will not want to open up to you. Try with all your heart, to listen, and be there for him. This is not being a doormat, but a loving caring wife. I'm sure once he feels he can talk to you, all of the truth will come out.
Email me again, soon, know that prayers for you and H are out there. Praise God that He is in control, (hence the fighting with OW). God will not allow this to continue if your H heart is pure toward Him! I believe he truly wants to reconnect with the Lord, I will pray that for him too. God Bless you, til the next email,....

Hey guys!<p>RH: Yeah, im trying my hardest for thr kids. My D sees right through H. I have to explain to her that he is going thru things and doesnt mean to take it out on you. I tell her not to take everything so personal. Same applies to me, I havent been in the greatest of moods. But I do keep the comunication open with my D. I wish my H would.<p>StillWaiting: I want to be there for him and listen to his pain. But I know that a huge part of it is an excuse to get out. His pain justifys his actions. I gave him this pain, therefore its my fault. You see how he works? He has been the BIGGEST lier thru this entire thing. I dont know what to believe anymore. True, his feelings are valid but he talks about his pain while his is continueing his A. He completely focuses on what I did to him in the past, and barley touches on the A which is still going on. Like its ok.<p>What should I do? Im still keeping my faith and hanging on. Everything that comes out of his mouth is about us DV. He wants it to be unfixable. When I say Im not giving up, he tells me how he doesnt want to try and says it cant work. Its like he wants out but doesnt want to say it.<p>Yes, he knows I know hes still w/OW. But he will not admit the truth. He also lies big time to OW.<p>I will email you too.<p>God Bless,<p>PI

I can sure sense your frustration PI, but a good thing is that he is lying to OW, shows that he won't be around her for much longer! You said they're fighting too? Great! Something is bound to break. Keep on praying, it is obviously working regarding the OW. Continue to pray that God will put a wedge between them, and that He will make you the best wife to your H, that He will give you the strength to do so.
God be with you today and always, I look forward to your email.
M