Hi, I have been on both sides of the fence. I was the spouse of a cheater, got divorced, and then I found myself in the role of the other woman. Now, I am not either, the spouse of the cheater, or the other woman. I was deceived, was lead to believe that the man that I was seeing was 100% available.

I have been there and done that. Both sides of the fence. I am here because I would like to help. You can all either aske me questions that might help you, or you can blast me. I can take whatever you all want to dish out. I have learned from my mistakes, and my tears, maybe I can help someone here understand what they are going through. Thank you.

BS welcome to MBs.
Sorry you went through so much pain.
Your post hints that you were the OW but that you were the last person to find out you were is that correct? If it is it must have felt like being the BS again.
NS

<small>[ January 23, 2003, 11:31 AM: Message edited by: Newsunrise ]</small>

Thank you for your welcome, I am over my pain now and have moved on with my life. I would just like to help others.

Yes, you are right, I was the last to know that the man that I was seeing after my divorce was living with somebody. He justified it by the fact that he was only living with somebody, and not married to her. I felt just like a BS again and he made it very hard for me to end our so called relationship that to me was started on deceit.

I worked with the man and I still do. He is still not happy in his relationship with his live-in, he still tells me the same things that he did before, only I have moved on, and he hasn't. I am engaged and am living with my fiance. My x-unavailable man knows this and tells me on a daily basis that my fiance is not right for me. I ask him who is and he replies that he is. I tell him that if he was the right one for me, then he would have ended one relationship before he tried to start one with me. My fiance can at least give me the security of me knowing that I am the only one and not one of two. My fiance loves me and only me and I don't have to share him with anybody. That makes him right for me.

Thank you for listening

BS

Both Sides

Why did you D WS rather than try to save M? When, or what, made you realize it was the right move for you? I'm curious b/c I'm there now. Thanks