3 years ago I came to this forum after I learned of a 1 year affair my wife was having with a co-worker in another city that she traveled to each week as a consultant.

I confronted her and did the plan A approach. It was very difficult times and she assured me it was all done and we have moved on. We went to counseling and I felt we went to the next step and life was ok.

I recently learned that it never stopped and she's been living a double life, weekdays with him, weekends with me. He has no idea about me, and vice versa.. till now. This has been happening in every way.

We both are absolutely shocked and have compared notes on how we've been deceived deeply for these 3 years, especially financially.

She's talking about having babies now with me, life is hunky dory.. and she's talking to him about picking out wedding rings and eventually having kids. She's well integrated into his circle and into mine of course. It's so surreal that I can't even feel emotion.

Now it's time to confront and obviously I cannot go forward with this type of person. I do love her, but love doesn't trancend this kind of deception, in my opinion. Fatal attraction anyone?

Any ideas on how to confront or generally what to do from a legal, social, emotional and whatever else perspective. She knows nothing thus far.

All your input is very welcome.

Karl

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Any ideas on how to confront or generally what to do from a legal, social, emotional and whatever else perspective. She knows nothing thus far.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If your WW truly cared about you or the OM, she would have decided for one or the other. But since she has enjoyed fooling both of you, it is obvious she is a cakewoman who enjoys having two men in her life.

I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that since you are back here asking for help, that you love your WW very much and want to save your M. BUT even so I would recommend that you abstain from having sexual relations with your WW, not just to protect your health but to protect yourself legally if she does become pregnant and there is a question whether the child she would be carrying, is yours or the OM's. And to avoid her vehemently denying that she is still having her A with the OM, I would suggest that you and the OM arrange a meeting with her where she would not know that you two know the truth. Once she arrives for the meeting, you or the OM would pop out and confront her with her deception. She will finally realized that her charade is over and that she will either have to choose between you or the OM. BUT be prepared in case she makes her choice to be with the OM, and not with you.

This board has very little traffic compared with the infidelity general questions board, and I would suggest that you post this thread over there as well to have more input from much wiser folks than me.

Actually, it appears that she is delusional. The things she is planning cannot co-exist.

It is amazing that she could so completely pull this off for such a long period of time, without having to excuse herself emotionally from you.

Maybe you have a much more serious mental issue here than unfaithfullness.

If you confront her with the OM you should hope that she chooses him. It would make it easier getting rid of her.