Well, it's not getting any easier. We go through most days just fine. Its at night when my thoughts seem to spiral toward the negative.

My WH states that he is dealing with the pain of the lost affair and trying to reestablish a love connection with me. We are very good friends, so I try to see it his side as well.

Well, I thought, maybe the physical intimacy should just stop for now. We can live as friends. It works. We have done this during long periods where illness made intimacy nonfeasible. I suggested this to him and he was totally at a loss. I made the point the he established this EA without any physical contact and our dating involved none either, so he dosen't need that to form an emotional attachment.

I don't get it. I understand that men are wired differently from women, but can he really be getting anything from this? I know I'm not. Without the emotional connection, I'd just as soon be organizing the laundry.

I guess I need a head's up or something? What is the best way to look at this ?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Don't know your story but can so much relate to your pain. I am trying this whole Plan A thing and nights are horrible. I seem to start all arguements at 10:00 or later. Im trying to not talk about the A but still struggle with the trust and fear in all of this. I hate to think that I am moving forward and she is in the wing. I guess I have learned one thing is I am sure not the only one in the world with this problem.

My understanding is that Plan A/Plan B are for ending the A. Your WS has ended his, right? Then it sounds like he's in withdrawal. I just read that chapter in Surviving An Affair. It seems WS will be depressed for 3-4 weeks and we really can't meet their ENs during this time. It sounds like it's more of a 'be nice to each other time' and wait until the pain subsides for him a bit.
How long has it been since the A ended?

The A was ended around the beginning of August. I'm don't believe there is any physical contact with the OW at all, but this was primarily an EA. I suppose I must give it more time to be sure it is really over, but I do wish I could give it some sort of an acid-test to be sure.