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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 109
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 109 |
I am having trouble with dealing with the lies. I mean we would of been on the same positive road with him moving here, I was so so happy, he was calling all the time, emailing me, etc. Then bam! caught in more lies when he decided to make that choice not to get on the plane for a week visit. I don't know which way to turn and the lies are making me crazy. How do you deal with all the lies?? I even told him that I was sorry about not trusting him and I was wrong and tried to turn it around but I wonder if he will ever feel guilty or grow a conscious after lying to me so bad after he begged me back.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241 |
I don't know. It is so hard knowing that you are being lied to. When he DOES tell you the truth - about anything - tell him how much you appreciate the truth and that it helps to restore your trust in him. That is sure to have an effect on him. I think it makes them feel guilty. Not that we are trying to make them feel guilty but if they do not like what they are doing to us then maybe they will stop doing it.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 109
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 109 |
I just am not sure I can get past the lies and deceit. I know before there was alot of things that I did wrong as well and I know I didnt get him the attention that he needed but we had moved on past that this time and he was planning on moving here as soon as I got my own place, I bought a plan ticket for him to fly out, all the calls and emails and then BAM again I know he is lying to me and I was open and honest and told him before this all really blew up for him to tell me what was going on that I wouldn't be mad I would just move on. I guess he wanted to keep what ever it was he was doing there and have me on the side too.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 241 |
I know exactly how you feel, but they have to lie in order to do what they are doing. The book says "Affairs thrive in secrecy" which is why you should expose them. I don't think you can get someone to be honest and to change. They have to want to change and start being honest. We cannot beg and plead for them to be honest. They are just going to do what they want to do. We can't control them.
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