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Date with my wife
#48674 01/06/00 12:10 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 30
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yes_dup559 Offline OP
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yes_dup559
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It's been two and a half months since I found out about my wife's affair. Life at home has been as frigid as Siberia in January. Finally, my wife has agreed to a date (dinner and a movie) tomorrow night...as long as we don't talk about our relationship or our problems. (She still doesn't know if she wants to rebuild our marriage.) I guess it's a first step. Any advice about how I can make this date a successful one...and not a Love Buster? Even though she's become a little more civil to me at home, she still seems somewhat angry and detached. I don't want to mess things up and head back in the other direction.<P>For our marriage to eventually work, we will need to improve our ability to communicate openly and honestly...but I'm not sure this first date is the time to start doing that. Do you agree?
Re: Date with my wife
#48675 01/06/00 12:16 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
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lostva Offline
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It is DEFINITELY not the place to start. <P>Just have fun. Treat her as you would a first date that you were dying to impress. Relax (as much as possible!) and enjoy the evening.<P>She'll need to comfortable and see you as someone whose company she really enjoys b/f you can even BEGIN to talk about rebuilding. You've got the right idea.<P>Have a great evening! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.<P>Lori
Re: Date with my wife
#48676 01/06/00 02:41 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 351
woodland hills, ca 91367
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TFloyd Offline
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TFloyd
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What an encouraging moment for you....couple of thoughts... keep it casual, honor her wish not to talk deep, the movie should be something other than drama-heart wrenching and dinner might be at a place that isn't overly romantic yet you two can talk about OTHER stuff. <P>Keep it light, if it goes well, there will be plenty others to follow.<P>I remember one of our early dates......and sometime in the middle of the date, thinking, how wonderful it was to shoot the breeze again with him. You know that feeling, talk much about nothing ! Trust me it didn't come easy, my husband was a small-talker, but you know this going in !!<P>good luck, <BR>-Tina
Re: Date with my wife
#48677 01/06/00 03:11 PM
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 30
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yes_dup559 Offline OP
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Thank you. It will be difficult not bringing up all the things I want to say...but I don't want to push her away. I hope to see her smile again. Gosh, I miss her smile.

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