To make a long story short, my mom was admitted over the holiday for emergency triple bypass surgery. My two brothers flew in from out of state to be here. It was very hard to say the least but thank God she is doing fine now. She is recouperating at my house. My h and I have been separated since Sept, I asked him to come home to take care of kids, house, etc while I took care of my mom. He was around the whole time anyway. My mom called and asked him to spend Christmas at her house as usual, and worked out her forgiveness before she had this surgery. (I was glad for her).<P>My h was there the whole time, visiting everyday and staying with us through the entire day of surgery. My 3 brothers and I were there and I know this must have been hard for him to face my family, they know our situation. There were some tense times, but for the most part everyone behaved for my mom's sake. He did everything I would expect a h to do during this time, but since he has been in therapy, he was concerned with my FEELINGS, besides doing all the practicle things. I know he has come a long way, and I am starting to think I should try. I just don't know if it is all the emotion of everything, that has me thinking this way, but never the less, I am here.<P>My mom told me she forgave him and came to the realization that life is too short. She was having symptoms, but kept them to herself.<P>Anyway, I have been thinking of trying, but I am unsure if this is just the turmoil of the last few weeks that has me feeling like this.<P>What should I do?????? I feel like jumping off a bridge, (just kidding). But I need some relief. Any advise?

hi crushed, <BR>I found this post back a few....<BR>I am so glad to hear your mom is doing good. No chest pain? Breathing okay? All is wonderful? <BR>Maybe the therapy is working with h? THis sounds pretty promising crushed. Be careful and be patient. Think about where your boundaries, where you want to be. Be clear waht you want!!!

Hi cl,<BR>by the way, my e-mail crashed after Y2k. Hope to get up and running soon. Yes, I think the therapy is working. Mom is kinda Short of breath, she has plueral effusion, but is being treated with Lasix. Keeping my fingers crossed. <P>It's funny, you said to be careful and know my boundries and wants. Those are really unclear to me. I want this to never have happened. Impossible, right! I know what I would expect from him and how I want to be treated, but it's strange because he really didn't mistreat me besides the obvious. He is charming, kind and funny. Fun to be around. He really didn't change all that much execpt his guilt got the best of him. So I don't know really what I would change other than the unfaithfulness. Am I making sense? I am very careful, as a matter of fact, I haven't even told him I was considering trying. I sort of back down each time. I guess it's cold feet or something. I'll keep you posted.<P>I also feel I don't want to make this decision when my emotions are running so high with my mom. Do you understand that? I just wish I wanted this all, that's the thing, I really don't know. Some people seem to know what they want, they are so sure of their feelings. Some say, well I love him and I know I want to be with him. They are the things that are so unclear with me. I think I am numb.<P>Thanks for your reply