Thanks for your thoughts. There doesn't seem to be enough going on to start a thread, but I don't mind updating. And this is long.<P>My H has been home for 13 days. He says he's had no contact with OW, including no "it's over". I don't quite believe him. He says she is probably angry with him for not calling and she wants it to be over. I can't bring myself at this time to encourage him to call her, even to end it. We both agree he must talk to her or write the letter to actually end it.<P>He very accountable for his time. Affectionate. His eye contact has been good--until yesterday. But he had an appt with his counselor yesterday and he's always odd that day. He was willing to talk to me about things last night without defensiveness or evasion. Although as we were talking about his behaviors he did tell me, "You're too smart, Lor." Hmmmm. We're both going in for STD screens. He has promised to be faithful to me, this is a promise he hasn't made for a long time. It was always "I want to be faithful" or "I'll try." <P>He says he wishes he had never started it with her the first time and he should not have done it again. He hasn't been over to his friend's house to pick the rest of his stuff up. Again, he's moved home so many times that I know picking his stuff up is something that triggers a major depressive episode, so I haven't been pushing that either. He's here, he's not talking about leaving, he's talking about the future with me. We've got the reservations for Disney World next month.<P>I've basically put a lot up on the "shelf". I don't want to talk about her. I don't want to know any more than I do--unless it is newly happening. My love bank is very low, and even though he is doing things that a month ago would have had it brimming, it feels like there is only a small trickle going in. I don't trust him. I don't know if I'm shell-shocked, under God's grace, or my Paxil is working, but I'm nonreactive, not crying, not angry, not lovebusting--the best Plan A I've ever done. I'm cheerful with him, complimentary. (Just read LIGHT HIS FIRE by Kriedman). Bought him LIGHT HER FIRE, but I want him to use it with me...and I'm not sure that it where he would put it that use. <P>I hate not being able to trust him. One of the things I have done this past year is to trust him, because I'm not in the wrong in trusting what he says, it is his lying that is wrong. Of course, these few past months I began checking up on him and I think that is one of the reasons he moved out. I was close to catching him or he thought I would.<P>So, right now, my H & I are in a place of needing time and each other's patience. I really see this as the last chance and there are moments I don't think I can do it, much less that he can. But I know it is God's will for this marriage to survive & truly, other than being willing for it to heal, I've done everything else possible. He is acting differently this time...
