Over the last week it seems as though there have been many (Betrayed and Betrayer) who have either felt unwelcomed or unwanted. I think we all need to remember why we have come here. I think there are many reasons why we come into this forum. For me personally, I found this site after my H and I put our marriage back together. When I heard of this site on the 700 Club, my first thought was that maybe I could help and comfort someone else who is going through what I did. I told my H that if I could help just one person, I would feel that all we through had a purpose. Little did I realize that there are so many of us and so many different circumstances. There has been alot of talk over whose pain is greater. I think we all have pain and in different capacities. The pain of an affair, pregnantcies, STD's, betrayal of family and friends and the list goes on and on. There are times I am thankful I didn't feel the pain of some of these things. But couldn't we learn from each other? Yes, sometimes our feelings will get hurt, and Yes sometimes we will not agree with the other party.....but shouldn't we all listen and learn? I for one have strong feelings about the ow, however I respect those who realize they made a mistake and are trying to right the wrong. I think what would be best (and something I do) is if a posts really upsets you then wait to reply. I would just hate for people who need support and advice to leave or those to leave who have ideas that could make the difference. I thought when I was going through this myself, that I would just take my life so I wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore. What if we sent someone like me away? I am living proof that a marriage can be saved. My H and I are doing better now than in our entire marriage (14yrs). I wouldn't have thought a year ago this was possible. I just ask each of you to remember we are here, although for different reasons, to try to save our marriage and our families. <P>I will now step off of my soap box.....and I hope I did not offend any of you.<P>God Bless You All!

Gladimadeit,<BR>I enjoyed reading your post. I agree! I just went back and reread NW post and all the other posts on her thread. There is alot of good stuff there. I think because of a grammer mistake alot of misunderstanding occured. The flaming could of been avoided, but I too hope that there is forgiveness and new revelations can be gained from this. I for one have been greatly helped by everyones opionions, even when some of the flames were directed at me. I hope peace will prevail and no one leaves because of difference of opinions. We all have a lot to learn. Thanks to everyone here! God Bless!<BR>Ginn

Wow, you are so absolutely right. <P>When hubby and I got into a tiff in Bismark ND, the industrial section he pulled off to and tried to leave me at was at Division Road. When I saw the sign, I silently prayed for the Lord to remove the spirit of division that had entered our marriage. I will pray that spirit of division leaves this board as well.<P>You heard about this on the 700 club? One of my favorite shows! I always thought the Harley principles were complimentary to Biblical principles, so that just makes me feel better about this site. <P>

How long has this message board been around? I'm guessing a LONG time. And I'm sure this isn't the first time it's experienced some dissention and hostility. It's not the first time and it won't be the last time.<P>One thing I've learned through my experiences on the internet is that there will always be disagreements on messages boards or mailing lists or whatever you choose to visit. I've been subscribed to numerous discussion mailing lists on a wide variety of subjects and there always inevitably comes around a spate of arguing.<P>And another thing - the anonymity of the internet makes it easier for people to be mean to each other. It's easier to type mean and hurtful words to a computer screen then it is to say face to face. Part and parcel, I'm afraid. Unfortunately it's made all the more tense on this particular forum due to the extremely sensitive subject matter.<P>Anyway, when someone writes something that offends you personally, try to take a step back and say "Why am I really offended? I don't even really know this person! They are just words on my computer screen"... it takes the sting out of it. And if you ARE offended and angry -- DON'T respond! Take a few minutes (or hours even). Think about it. When you come back, I'm sure your response will be much more even tempered.<P>--airheart

Thanks to you all, I knew we were all good people . We all have so much to learn, and I would love to learn them from people who have lived what I'm living.

Glad,<P>Beautiful post, and thank you! Couldn't have said it better myself. <P>------------------<BR>Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.

GladImadeit -<P>Thank you for this post - all you've said here should be heeded.<P>I think when the tempers flair - the real issue is not who's pain is greater.<P>I think that it's more of resentment that one made a choice and the other did not!!! That is what fuels some of the background to any disagreements.<P>We must not diminish another's pain no matter where it came from. That is for the individual to realize - but it does not make it any less real!!<P>A little understanding, tolerance and compassion for a fellow human is not too much to show. If it's a bad time - pass what bothers you by!!!!<P>HUGS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!<P>Sheba

I totally agree. Thanks for wording it so well <BR>