Ok, I wasn't going to post, but I need your thoughts: <P>My h has a childhood friend in Colombia who is married with kids. Like many others over there, they want to get out. It's not safe anymore. His wife is a very special lady, and I wouldn't even consider doing this for anyone else right now. She plans to come here alone for 3 months while she seeks political asylum.<P>My h tells me she is seeking asylum and would be coming here. I said she is always welcome. Of course, I'm thinking one or two nights. The next evening he tells me he told her ok, then it struck him that we never discussed the "details". Was this to get around the POJA or should I believe he really was that distracted? <P>Despite the bad communication, I agreed to it. We talked about pros and cons, but didn't cover it that much considering it's a big step. So I'm asking y'all, have I missed it?<P>PRos I would be helping a very special family, and she could be a good friend to share with as I am alone far too much. This could be an answer to our prayers regarding upcoming business trips that I should go on. It would be much better than our other alternatives for leaving the kids.<P>COns We're 21/2 months since he ended his EMA. That makes this especially difficult to have someone here at this time. On the other hand, h and I are together all the time that he is not at work. He likes and respects her h (his ows were single), and she is not his type. We've had people live with us before and it really hurt our privacy. But that was before the kids, so we don't have much anyway. Finally, the 3 months could drag on for good or bad. It will be hard on her, in a new place away from her family, and I will need to help her find work as a nanny or something.<P><p>[This message has been edited by schizzo (edited January 14, 2000).]

I think it's great that you are willing to help out. We had a 'roommate' for a while, and hated the loss of privacy, but hey, it's only temporary. (there's something to be said for having a live-in friend - free babysitting )<BR>Deut

I apologize for not posting on your other thread yet. Now I have to go meet my H's need for recreational companionship and go skiing <P>Eventually I'll get to it. I know what I want to say, but it will take some thought to get it all down and I don't want to do a half a job.<P>At this point can you change your mind? Does this woman have other alternatives? Looks like there are some pros and cons. I don't think that she and your H would likely get something going if that is your biggest fear. If the decision is already made and not easily changed, then work out how it can best work out and just go on. If not, bring up your issues and work as a team to come up with the best answer.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13