Hi,<p>I was reading your post and I realize how much in common you and I have. Yes, I agree with Violet that communication is the ultimate key, but your biggest obstacle (and mine) is that Asian men were born and raised pigheaded. It is almost impossible to communicate especially since they shut down when we attempt to make a solid point. In fact, they think we ought to shut up, be subservient, and have no place in the household. Although this is the nineties and we're reaching toward the millenium, they still don't have any regard to us Asian women.<p>Please remind him that he's no longer the man you remembered him to be, and don't back down on things that are right. The more you surrender, the easier it is for him to put you down. I'm not telling you to go and pick a fight, but do pick the right battles and stick with it. It may also be easier on yourself if you can let go some things that may not be worthwhile to fight over. I can't say that I have working marriage myself, but sometimes I do teach my husband a lesson by doing the things that he does that bothers me. Asian men don't have much empathy, so they can't put themselves in your shoes.<p>If he wanted a subservient wife, just let him that wasn't on your resume to begin with and try to show some independence so he doesn't think he's the BIG man. Nothing is your fault, please, don't think of it this way. No one deserves frustration and fighting and you definitely don't need any of it. Although it takes time to change and make amends, be prepared to do the same as well.<p>Well, I hope things are going a little better for you, if you like please email me (bunnywatt@aol.com) if you ever want to 'let the air out'. Good luck.
