I thought marriage was all about building something together. And thus also building a nest egg together. Well, my husband of near ly 7 years has been building his nest egg for the past 5 years all on his own, in his own name of course. I've been "allowed" another quick glance at the state of his nest egg. Thank you very much. But it will never be mine. It is all to be inherited by his children (2 are ours) When I first found out about 4 years ago I felt cheated upon, especially since he pretended finances were bad at that time. I don't think I can ever trust him again on a financial basis. And I think it shows his lack of trust in me that he is doing this. He is surprised when I am angry and cold towards him. What does he expect? Our sexual relationship is almost non-existent (I don't feel like it anymore, and the fact that from when I was 6 months pregnant with our second child, he didn't touch me or showed affection for 10 months certainly has to do with it)Is there any hope left for me? What can I do?

You are certainly justified in feeling left out... even a little betrayed by your H's building of his own little nest egg. But, he does apparently discuss it with you occasionally, at least he's not still trying to keep it from you. Have you asked him, in the most loving non-accusational way possible, why he's doing this? Have you offered to contribute, or to start a fund for your retirement together? I'm not quite sure why you feel entitled to a share of the money, as a father he probably feels it's his duty to provide for his children, especially were he to (God forbid) die young. Perhaps when he was young your H's family was strapped for cash and he feels safer and more secure with a nest egg built up. Ask him why he feels the need to maintain this separate from his marital accounts with you... the answer he gives will tell you whether it's something to be concerned about.

My husband says that he feels if he talks about the money, that I'll be waiting for him to die to get it all. Well, I'm not, he is the father of my children, and even if things wouldn't work out between us, I don't want my kids to miss out on their father. The fact that he is so secret about it makes it just such a big issue for me. Why can't we just openly discuss it all ? I am supposed to be involved in his future. Yes, his family was strapped for cash. Well, mine wasn't , and my parents build their nest egg together. And enjoy it together. So do my sisters, so do his sister and brothers.<BR>We are married with seperation of goods, and since I don't work anymore, I have no personal income. <BR>His occasional talks come usually after a lot of complaining by me, and it is more like once every two years! And I wonder where those huge amounts of money come from, whereas he can do nothing but give me dirty looks when I spend money on myself.