It is great to hear other married couples on this view. I am dealing with a same problem&#8230;is that normal to have friends opposite sex? Is that affair or really friendship? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I&#8217;ve already published my story on the General Questions board last month. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> If you would like to know the complete story here is my tread http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=027504

To make it short, if you didn&#8217;t read my story&#8230;the whole situation in my marriage started because of the friendship with opposite sex. My husband was on vacation with kids (and without me) and made a &#8220;very good friend&#8221; with 2 ladies, one is our hometown neighbour and other is cousin&#8217;s wife. As it usually starts, they discussed about marriages in general at first. It turned to be &#8220;personal story&#8221;&#8230;They started to talk about their marriages and in my opinion it went to far. I mean, I am only guessing&#8230; <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

When he returned from vacation he became totally different person. I realized that something really bad happen to us. Bottom line, I found out that he was in contact with 2 ladies sometimes on a daily basis. I broke into his hotmail account. I kept monitoring some conversations and at one point I told him that I know about his e-mails. He got so mad for me being so &#8220;rude&#8221; and disrespectful. My major concern was that he tried to keep that as secret. He explained that I was so jealous and that is why he kept that as a secret. Sometimes they went on chat&#8230;however, he never admitted that it was affair (even today). Our relationship is drastically changed in the terms of the trust, intimacy and love. He blamed me for what happen to our marriage and us. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I was very stressed and disappointed with the whole situation. I lived through the hell last 2 years. I asked my mother for support and advice but got rejected! She said she would never support my divorce or separation no matter what! I was so alone in the whole thing&#8230;
<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Finally, after lots of discussions, ups and downs, we came at the point where we had to decide if we are going to stay together or not. We are still kind of working on it and it is getting better believed or not! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I think that in spite of everything e-mail still keeps going on. I don&#8217;t care about e-mails anymore at this point. It is behind&#8230;but it hearts to see that he still acts very protective about that. He said that it was his fault that our cousin&#8217;s wife became involved and &#8220;informed&#8221; about our &#8220;marriage problems&#8221;. He didn&#8217;t want to do any harm to her or cause any problems in her marriage because of us and me eventually raising any issue about their &#8220;friendship&#8221;. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I would like to hear your opinion. Do you think that I am overreacting with the whole situation regarding female friends?

betrayed - I don't think you are overreacting at all. Your story serves to confirm the pitfall of "harmless opposite sex relationships" that a married person can so easily fall prey to. It doesn't take much, especially with today's relaxed standards and lack of morals, to fall into a trap. One person may be totally innocent yet be taken in by a wolf (or wolfette).

MylegsRmine: I think you are close if not right on target. From the books I have read by Dr. Harley, this is dangerously close to EA if not crossed the line already. The fact that this OW is now divorced. I think your husband should not eat lunch or any other meal with this OW UNLESS you are there. He needs to stop calling her on his cell phone if he is going to sneak around to talk with her. He is not taking your feelings into account that this is hurtful to you. Who cares how long she has been his friend???You are his wife. He should be thinking of your needs first over his or this OW. He should have this friendship with you in the presence of this OW. I hate to keep referring to her as the OW but she is fitting the bill. Talk with your husband and tell him why this has to stop....Peace