I love my wife, and do not want to lose her. But lately it seems that the only way to stay married is to disassociate with my father which means sell out of my dream business because my father is also my business partner.

We have a fairly decent debt problem and she thinks the solution to it is to give myself a raise. However, business is not good right now, and my comapny is only eight years old. I can only do so much to keep the company going. Paying myself more when the company is struggling to make a profit does not make sense.

To complicate matters, I must involve my dad in decisions made concerning financial support by my company for my wife and I. She questions his every motive.

We have no kids, been married for 8 years and generally get along pretty happily. But every so often (rather regularly lately), we have major fights where we both insult each other over financial situations, the amount of time I put into my company, etc.

My company is a small entreprenuerial manufacturer of aluminum boats. We have about 45 employees. I have to drive about an hour to and from work. It consumes a lot of time sometimes.

My wife does not work. She is about to complete her college degree in May. My dad, the one she hates, pays for her college.

She does not want to work, really, unless it is the perfect job. She wants to work with me, but that is impractical since my dad is there. Besides she is pretty bossy and may not take orders from me too well.

I would like to work with her in a business one day. The problem is everything I have is invested in this company and now is not the time to sell even if there was a buyer.

Both of us are sick of talking about debt, and she has gotten better about her spending. Instead of $20,000/year more debt, last couple of years were probably more like $10,000.

I even gave myself a raise of $20,000/year a couple of years ago, even though it was not really kosher with the bank. But she still spends more than we make.

She is more open to sticking to a budget, but continues to push the spending button.

Does anyone have any advice? She left me last Friday night - haven't heard from her since.

Hi
Your letter is very said...it reminds me somethimes of me and my husband, but he is working, and i do not. I had a knee injury, so i was unable to work.
But, regarding our credit situation, my husband fears his years, and he is just scared he would di one day,so he has to accomplish everything, now.
It seems like your wife is not getting enough attention. There is no unique relationship...but more and more i see the problem of my husband being away from me, and travelling a lot. Well, he might has honest and open relationship toward me...but in real life..it does not function.
Also, you did not say why she left you, exactely...did you have a fight?
Are you really expecting me to help you...how do i know your relationship, it is unique.
The only thing-it seems that your wife is lonely, and she might be possesive a bit, or need you to rely more on your marriage than your relationship with your father.
I am prolonging the pain of my husband being oriented toward his job, and other people's admiration, than focusing to our well being, our future...You see...he has his priorities, and maybe your wife think the same-you being more focused into your father and job, than into your marriage.
Man, i wish you a good luck...
Relationships are really complexed, usually...But, we learn, and everything is like it should be, and we are still-breathing.

lena