Ive been married about six months, me and my husband got married at a young age im 19 and he is 21. my husband is also in the military. It constantly seems as if his friends are his first priority. let me give you an example: my husband was leaving for the field (going to practice army stuff)he is going to be gone for a month on the night before he left he decided to go out with his friends while I was at work , not leaving me a note or anything an hour after i get home he walks in the door drunk and now Im mad because its our last night together for a month keep in mind that I am working 2 jobs and going to school full time so we dont have much time together in general. and when Im home I would like to spend time with him also on my only day off he goes out with his freinds and im left sitting at home and I movedto this town we live in from a big city away from my family and friends to be with him I just feel as though Im being taken for granted he never does the things he used to when we were dating and he doesnt do little nice things for me very often I just feel so not important to him Ive talked to him before about these things and he says he will try harder but it always seems to come up I dont know what to do and my love bank is dropping every day I think about this He read the book his needs her needs and Ive left it out for him before I dont know what to do? <p>[This message has been edited by rose99 (edited 03-01-99).]

Dear Rose:<p>Dr. Harley calls your problems "Love Busters"<br>You are very young and have a lifetime a head of you. Your young and, what looks like immature husband, has time to implement Biblical principals and have a wonderful marriage. I am 54 and my wife 53. Not at all a time to divorce? First and only marriage in 1982 and we have 2 beautiful girls 10 and 15. My W got tired of the neglect, verbal abuse lots of garbage I did over the years. She "kept" a terribly messy house. She filed for divorce to gain "control" in her own mind. I am very hopeful but she keeps saying "You haven't changed and I can't live with you" I have done much reading, writing Anger Management, Parenting for Men (all this last summer, she has done zero!) Our 15 yr. old uses the separation against both of us. I see my family everyday but remain separated.<br>Relationships are very complex as you now know. Please go to and read "Marriage-The High Calling" at www.sigler.org/roach. Good luck!<p>Gary

edited<p>[This message has been edited by HollyAnn (edited July 07, 1999).]