My husband feels like the policy of joint agreement should take his mothers feelings in to consideration rather than just the two of ours.<BR>My husband admits that his mother is not rational, not intelligent(all there), and says and does things that he feels are not intentional by her. She has told me many times that she is jealous of me and my husband (as well as her daughters and families -- she lives very poorly and we give lots to her to make her life easier). She had told my husband before we got married that she was afraid that he would no longer love her if he had someone else to love. She has a habit of just walking all over people, showing up to her daughters house unnanounced after driving 3 hours only to cry when her daughter says that she is on her way out the door with her husband and family), and my husband just says she knows not what she does, and that I have to be a bigger person than she and not upset her applecart. She is very emotional and cries when anyone disagrees with her.<BR>So he has told me that his mothers feelings, when we are around her have to be considered first and foremost. Even if that means me becoming exhausted and stressed at trying to make her happy.<BR>Is this appropriate? I feel like I have to give up my self to someone who just snubs me. When I explained this to my husband, he just says, she is not seeing the bigger picture because of lack of intelligence and that I should just be supportive of he and that he wants to have a strong relationship with his mother. I know that a son(and daughter) should have a relationship with their mother, but not at the expense of the person that they have chosen to be their lifelong mate.<BR>So how do I instill the policy of joint agreement when my husband said that the policy will have to extend beyond the two of us and include her feelings?
