My husband and I have been married for 18 years. The biggest problem in our marraige is and has always been his LOVE OF WORK. This is not just me everyone that knows him says the same thing about him. That is all he thinks about and talks about. He was raised this way, his father is the same way. And believe me what daddy says is gospel to my husband. I also worked for 15 years in the family business which is a nursery that grows shrubs and trees. I believe in hard work and have no problem with that. But they take it to far. Many times I have been to work before daylight using tractor lights to see with, when we could have just waited another hour until daylight. And we worked 10-12 hours everyday 6-7 days a week. I have even had to work in the rain and below freezing many times. These people put work before everything else. For example when my husband's grandmother died (his maternal grandmother) his mother left the field for 2 hours to go the funeral home and make arrangments and then came back to work. And when his paternal grandmother had a stroke and they were told that she wouldn't make it but for a few days or hours they went right on to work even though they were close to this lady. <BR> And when I was in the hospital due to a miscarraige my husband had no concern that we had just lost our baby. He just kept saying when are they going to let you go home because I have to work.<BR> Sometimes when I was sick and didn't go to work which was extremely rare, he would come by the house every couple of hours and ask me if I felt like going to work yet. This is just a few of a never ending list that I could write.<BR> The type work that we do is very physical and hard. And us women are expected to do the same work as the men. We do not need the money, we over the years have made a considerable amount to live a very comfortable life. There is a lot of nurseries in our county. But all the other nurseries do not work like this and make time for life. Behind his back a lot of people make fun of him because of the way he thinks about work. <BR> I left him for a few days about 6 years ago because of this. We talked about it and he swore he would change. But one year later he bought 50 more acres of land and of course he now works more than ever. If I try and talk to him about it he just walks off mad.<BR> After a 13 year battle with infertility and a miscarraige we adopted a baby girl. She is my greatest joy in life. I really don't care if he spends time with me any more but he also spends no time with her and this breaks my heart for her. He sees her about 30 minutes a day by the time he gets home and before he goes to bed. He has taken her to the store once in her life by herself for about 15 minutes. He changed 2 diapers in 2 years. She is now 3 years old. If I ask him to do things as a family or with her, he just says I don't have time and refuses to make time.<BR> I do not work since we adopted our child and he now thinks I am lazy. <BR> But I waited a long time to get my angel and want to be a stay at home mom and spend every moment with her that I can. I also came into a large inheritence 3 years ago left to me by my aunt. So I have contributed this to the family income so I think that I have done my part. I also plan on going back to work when she goes to school.<BR> I do not know what to do. He will not talk about this and will not compromise at all. Since money is not a problem I do not see why he can't slow down a little and spend more time with his daughter. I am not asking him to quit work. Just to take a day or even a half day off 1 or 2 times a month. This problem is not a money thing, he likes the money that he makes, but he loves thwe work more.<BR> My concern is how this will effect my daughter thru her childhood. Would she and I be better off if I divorced him? I do care for him but I am no longer in love with him and haven't been for a while. I am 39 and he is 42 years old. Shouldn't I have some say in this marraige? He makes all the decisions and says the man should be in charge. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to be so long....