Okay, Hi.<P>I know there are other issues here besides the run of the mill infidelity here, but I had posted this reply below (edited now) to someone else on the subject of forgiveness. I hope it can be helpful to you, despite seemingly unique circumstances here. At the outset I want to say that you seem to have more to forgive than the rest of us here, because not only was your h acting out of character, but it was a homosexual act, a REAL out of character act - and for some reason, that just sits harder with me (and before any of you flame me NO I am not homophobic!!!) Anyway, some of this may help you:<P>You ask how you are going to get over this. You have to want that. You have to look deep in yourself and find if there can be forgiveness and trust for your h. And this is a process, it will take you some time to accomplish, and it will only happen if you want it to.<P>Let me share what happened with me. My h had an affair. Even when i knew it was over, I finally came to a point that I knew the situation was not improving for me because I would not forgive or trust. Note I said WOULD not, not COULD not. It was tearing me apart, I was suspicious of everything my h did.<P>One day I had quite a talk to myself, which ended with the realisation that I could not go on with the marriage if I could not truly forgive. And I DID want my marriage. So, 8 months after D-Day, I decided to let it go.<P>But 8 months was too long for my h...he couldn't handle my anger, constant questions, suspicions, my fears he would do it again and all the rest. Two days after I told him that finally our marriage could move forward, because I forgave him truly in my heart, he told me he was leaving me. He could not trust me to stick to this after 8 months of living hell, for both of us.<P>The sooner you can come to terms with this and let it go, really let it go, the sooner you will heal, and your marriage too, or at least you will yourself. If you want your marriage enough, you will forgive.<P>Just my thoughts...<P>