My boyfriend Mike and I are beginning to talk seriously about getting engaged. I'm 24, he's 29 and neither of us have been married before or have children. We've been dating for about 20 months now and have our own separate condos. He currently has a roommate who will be moving out in the next couple of months.
Mike and I have held the belief we would eventually marry for some time and now it looks like it would be a good time to take steps in that direction. Besides loving each other very much, our relationship is wonderful and we do a great job of meeting each others needs and resolving conflict.
Both of our parents are still married after 30+ years so we take the idea of marriage very seriously and don't want to make poor decisions that will jeopardize the possibility of having a permanent marriage.
I understand the statistics about living together before marriage and agree with them. But I wonder if living together while engaged qualifies as the same thing? We would really like to do this to ease the transition and give us a few months to get settled before starting to plan a wedding.
Any thoughts on this?

About a year ago my boyfriend moved in with me. I had my own condo and he was having some financial problems. I kicked my roommate out and he moved in...we had problems because of the fact that there was no commitment. He was not commited to me and I was not commited to him. The fact that the condo was mine was a problem. I became angry at him because of the things that he would do and it would effect the condo. God designed it for us to live with our parents until that special person comes along and then move in together on the wedding day....It works better that way....today in the 21st century society has put it into our minds that it is not bad to move in with each other.
We where engaged and we broke up....please don't do it....it is only a few months longer if you get engaged now and then you can move in together at that time.....it is worth it to wait!!!!

My boyfriend and I own a home together and it's great. No problems at all. I just wanted to say that it CAN work. But many times it doesn't, and you need to be aware of that. I would add that you are still a bit young. Not too young to make a decision, but still . . . In my own experience (I'm 37, he's 41), these things are much easier when you're older and wiser somehow. But I can't say whether or not that's the norm.