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It's been an awful process, but today we reached a settlement (our court date was next week). So in a couple of days I will really be divorced. It's hard to believe that its really happening after all we've been through for the past 15 months. <P>Feeling a mixture of relief and sorrow. I wonder how it will feel next week. <P>Will I ever truly understand what happened and why?
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Joined: Mar 2000
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You may never fully understand why your divorce happened, but I suspect that once it is final, you will feel an unexpected sense of relief. Some day you will probably understand some parts of why your relationship with your H had problems. You will probably realize these problems at the point when you find that you don't have the same problems with someone else. Letting go always is mixed with sorrow. Take it as it comes since you can't deal with the pain unless you are willing to experience the emotions.<P>I suspect it will take some time for your heart to heal, but your kids will surely fill it with enough joy to erase those waffle marks.<P>Karel
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Joined: Apr 1999
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Annie<BR>My thoughts and prayers are with you.<BR>You know that you gave it your all.<BR>You are taking control of your life.<P>I'm not sure that any of us will ever truly know what happened and why. I'm hoping that some day we won't care.<P>You are a very special lady and you have survived and grown from this. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Do you ever go back and read old posts? I do that sometimes to see how far I've really come in this mess. As a person. <P>Thinking of you!
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Joined: Feb 1999
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Animac<P>I'm sorry to hear this. I can relate to ehat you are experiencing. My divorce was final Dec 28th last year, 12 months after my wife's affair was uncovered. <P>There is an organization called Fresh Start that offers seminars and materials that I found helpful in understanding what I was going through.<P>Fresh Start'a web page is at <A HREF="http://www.freshstartseminars.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.freshstartseminars.org/</A> <P>You will be ok. There will be days when it doesn't feel that way, but you will become whole and balanced again.<P>Tom
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tegan-<BR>Thanks for the perspective. I'm already feeling how wonderful it will be to have time and energy for my kids without this awful divorce hanging over my every waking minute.<P>ws-<BR>So nice to hear from you! I sure hope you are doing well. It is pretty remarkable to see how far I've come. Or, alternatively, what a naive, trusting, blundering fool I was. <P>ZAPFT-<BR>Thanks for the link. I'll check it out!
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Joined: May 1999
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Hi Animac -<P>Well, I wasn't sure whether to use the sad face icon or the smiley one..so - being the eternal optimist - you get the smiley!!!<P>It must be sort of bittersweet, huh? I am glad that the state of "hold" is just about over for you. Relief is certainly a welcome emotion!!!<P>We probably won't ever know all the what happened and whys....but I am determined to at least figure out all on my end!! As far as H's side......well, if it's meant to come out in the wash someday, it will, I guess.<P>We have to just concentrate on our emotional healing and make sure we get through the post-divorce stage with as much of a sense of "self" as we can!!<P>BIG HUGS, PRAYERS and STRENGTH,<P>Sheba
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Young lady <BR>You were none of those things!<BR>You were a good, kind, loving wife and mother who did everything in her power to keep her family together.<BR>Annie, I have nothing but admiration for you!<BR>Now you deserve happiness and I believe that you have a future full of that. <BR>You are too special to have anything else.
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