My wife and I have been separated since March. She decided that she wants a divorce, and has the papers ready to file. But lately she keeps "needing" me for this or that...help her fix her computer, borrow money, etc. Nothing loving or intimate, but it seems she is determined to hang on to me in some way. Is it because she's not really ready to let go completely? We have spent a lot of time together with the kids, but no "couple" time. I feel like the door is still open somehow, but don't know how to get her to walk thru it. Its my nature to be very loving...and I still love her deeply. But I feel like I am being taken advantage of but I don't want to close the door either. I want to tell her that if she is divorcing me she doesn't get all these benefits of being my wife. But I don't want to push her away. Is this a sign or am I just fooling myself??
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Ryan,
<p>Is this a sign or are you fooling yourself? Boy do I know this dilema. You want things to come to a resolution so bad that you find yourself grasping for any little thing that can be interpreted as a good sign. Yet you've experienced enough disappointments from hanging hopes on those incidents you're afraid to do it again. You want to guard against false hope but you don't want to close the door either.
<br>It's rough, man. It's a mental and emotional mine field. But you're going to have to make the call. If it were me I think I'd explain that I would do anything to get her to stay as long as she felt like she would like to work it out. But if she is dead set on going through with the divorce I would tell her that I simply could not continue this way.
<br>But, like I say, the call is yours. You're the one that's close to it. I know that a man can want to keep his wife so badly that he is willing to go far more than the extra mile, even if he thinks he's being played for a fool. He's willing to do things he never thought he'd do. He knows he might end up standing there with egg on his face but he's willing to take the chance.
<br>You may be willing to take that chance, and while all this is going on you still won't be sure if you're fooling yourself or not. I wish there were a more clear cut and painless answer, but if there is I haven't found it. I wish you the best.